


Betty Grof the Human and the Art of Saving Someone who Needs Saving

by samspoops



Category: Adventure Time
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-06-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 09:18:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 36,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1643546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samspoops/pseuds/samspoops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Picks up almost immediately after the episode "Betty."  Betty Grof is out to find a cure for Simon, encountering many of Ooo's magical creatures along the way.  Some fluff, some Bubbline, and some sad contemplation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hints at Bubbline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will probably be creating an "Iced Groffee" playlist to coincide with this series. The playlist will mainly consist of music that gets me in the mood for this fic, so it might be nice to listen to while reading, if you're into that. I have none for any specific chapter, but in general, there are a few. I will update the playlist as I update the story. First song: "Broken" by Seether feat. Amy Lee.

The sky was clear, the air was clean, the sun shone bright, the plants were joyously growing in magnificent forests, but Betty was not happy. She clutched the rough fabric of the carpet, hood over her head, and flew above the treetops, thinking of her fiance. Simon had always been so loving, silly, fun to be around, but now she saw that he was different. His voice and mannerisms had changed, and he appeared so...old. She tried not to think about what he would do to those princesses he kidnapped; the teenage boy told her that he never did anything cruel to them. He just “acted like a donk” according to him.

The auburn-haired woman’s brown eyes began to water behind her glasses, and she moved her left hand to wipe the tears away. She tried to convince herself that it was just the wind rushing at her face, but her mood wasn’t helping her.

Betty had nowhere to go. She was a fish out of temporal water, with no direction, no place to call home. She had caught the name of the teenage boy and that dog, but she couldn’t remember for sure. Frank D. Newman? Glob, she had always been bad with names. It came from having a fast tracked mind that had trouble focusing when not concentrating. She could solve problems like puzzles and complex questions very quickly, but not social interaction. Both she and Simon had that problem, although he a little less. He interacted with people more often, while she did most of the research.

“Carpet,” Betty said sternly, sniffing sharply to prevent snot from running. “Take me to…” She couldn’t remember the boy’s name. What was his name? What was his odd, taffy-like, talking dog’s name? “Take me to the teenage boy.”

The blue carpet halted, jerking Betty forward. Her mind explained to her quickly, that she was an object in motion and wanted to stay in motion, and when the carpet stopped, the particles within her wanted to keep moving. She and Simon would’ve joked about her relating little things like that to scientific laws and theories, if only he was...Simon.

“Carpet, take me to the teenage boy, please.” Betty hoped that the carpet would have some sort of memory, and would be able to remember the boy and find him. She had no clue how the carpet worked, but she would love to study it. 

Still, the inherently magical rug did not move. Betty sighed, slumping down on the hovering fabric, thrusting her hands between her glasses and face to cover her eyes. She wasn’t defeated--she wouldn’t let herself be defeated--but everything was happening all at once.

Maybe, just maybe, the carpet could take her to somebody who could point the way to the teenage boy? She hoped silently that it would work, sat up, and said clearly, “Carpet, take me to the nearest community.”

Lifting up a bit, to signify that it would start off again, the carpet rushed forward, sending Betty leaning back a bit, for the same reason that she’d jerked forward at the sudden halt. 

The carpet rushed through the air, around the startling landscape, until it came upon a rapidly-approaching village. It hovered a foot above the air, Betty hopping off onto the narrow road. She looked around at the tiny houses around her, wondering if this was only a replica, and maybe the large village, the life-size village, was nearby, possibly behind the hill where a windmill sat.

A tiny, round, blue-colored person wearing ragged clothes came running out from one of the cottages, approaching Betty, saying, “It’s another human!”

Betty pulled down the hood from her head, letting her auburn hair--already tangled from flying through the air--fall down over her shoulders. She fixed its part, saying, “Yeah, I’m Betty Grof, pleasure to meet you.”

She kneeled down to shake the tiny person’s hand. He was vaguely human, very tiny and round, reminding her of some sort of ball with limbs.

Four tinier ones and one the same size, all of varying colors, ran out from the same cottage, and soon, Betty was surrounded by tiny humanoids, cheering, “Another human! Betty! Betty Grof the Human!”

Smiling, Betty pushed her glasses further up on her face, asking, “What, you guys don’t see humans that often?”

Behind her, the tiniest humanoids were trying to climb on each other’s shoulders to climb onto her carpet. Tenderly, she scooped the one on top off, setting her down on the ground, and Betty told her, “You shouldn’t touch people’s things without permission.”

“I’m sorry,” the little one said, Betty ignoring the sounds of others asking, “Betty Grof the Human, what brings you here?” “Is there another monster to be slain?” “Will you eat our food?”

“I forgive you, you didn’t know better,” Betty said, patting the little one’s head with her forefinger. “You can get on if you ask politely.”

“May I get on!”

Betty laughed softly, picking her up and setting her onto the carpet, and, with the cries of “Me too please me too please!” Betty picked up many others. Fourteen or more were now on the carpet, laughing merrily.

One of the bigger little people approached Betty, speaking over a tiny one asking “Can I touch the goggles on your face?” Betty asked the one to speak up as she handed the tiny one her glasses. Four of the tiny ones could look through the two lenses on the glasses, oohing and aahing as they could see things bigger through them.

“I asked, are you here to save us from a monster? There is no monster anymore.”

Betty took her glasses back, giggling as she patted the heads of the tiny ones in the same fashion as the first one, and she asked worriedly, “Monster? There was a monster here?” She’d defeated Bella Noche fairly easily, but was afraid of more like him. She had to devote her new life to protecting Simon and herself, because if she couldn’t save herself, who would be around to save Simon?

“Yeah!” Another shouted.

“It ate our food! Without permission!”

Covering her mouth with her right hand, Betty tried to exaggerate her surprise to assure them that she thought it was wrong to eat another person’s food without permission. She didn’t know these little creatures’ customs and mannerisms, so she tried to keep it simple and obvious--no sarcasm--and she said, “No, I would never eat your food without permission. So, seeing a human is rare?”

“Very much so! We hear that all the humans have died!”

Betty laughed, saying cheerily, “No, silly, I’m one, and there’s a teenage human boy--surely there’s more. Just because you don’t see something doesn’t mean it’s not real.”

The little people oohed at her words of wisdom, and one said, “Yeah, the human boy, Finn the Human, saved us from a monster once!”

“He made the monster apologize, and the monster gave us sandwiches!”

“It was still rude for the monster to eat our things without permission!”

Betty nodded, agreeing, “You’re right, it _was_ rude. Do you know where I can find this human boy, Finn?”

All at once, the little villagers answered _no_ in varying forms of the word. Betty sighed, exasperated, and asked, “Do you know where I can find someone who can find him?”

They repeated the nos. Betty pursed her lips and scooped the little people off of her carpet, saying, “I’m glad to have met you guys, I really am, but I must find Finn the Human.”

“Why?” a toddler in Betty’s right hand asked in an adorable voice. Betty’s cheeks puffed up, smacking her left cheek with her free hand. She loved children. They were adorable, and she and Simon had planned…

She sighed, wishing that the tiny tot was big enough for her to kiss their forehead. But, since it wasn’t, she kissed her forefinger, and tapped the tot’s head with her finger. Betty told the tiny one, “I’m a human, he’s a human, we have human things to discuss. It’s very boring, makes me wish I wasn’t human, ya know? Humans are boring.”

“Humans are brave!” Several of the humanoids cried out at once. The toddler agreed by throwing its hands in the air and saying “Ye!” adorably.

Betty smiled, setting the toddler into the arms of a small woman with her arms up, assuming that this was the mother. The mother held the toddler to her body, the toddler wrapping its arms around the mother’s neck. The dad walked up and set his hand down tenderly on the young one’s head, smiling sincerely and loving at his wife and child.

Once again, Betty felt the pang of seeing a loving family. _That’ll be Simon and myself soon, once I bring him back_ , she told herself.

Another adult approached Betty, asking, “Will you come back, to make sure no monsters come back?”

Hating to disappoint them, Betty reluctantly said, “I don’t believe so. Humans are busy people, and I’m on a very important, secret, human mission.”

“When you’re done, though, could you return?”

Betty, legs hurting from kneeling, plopped down into crisscross style. She folded her hands in front of herself, saying cheerily, “I don’t know. Maybe. But, your houses look too small for me to live in.”

“The windmill is big enough! You could live there!”

“Yeah! We’ll clean it up, make it nice and human-like, and you can live there!”

“No monster could ever live in that windmill again when you’re there!”

Betty smiled lovingly at the little people. She had nowhere to go, and having these people offer her a place to stay was nice. She told them, “I might take you up on that offer. What is this village called?”

“Little Village!”

Rising to her feet, Betty mumbled, “Simple, yet elegant.” Louder, she said, “Thank you, very much, for your hospitality. I must be going. I need to find Finn the Human.”

One little person ran forward, saying, “Wait, we didn’t tell you where to find someone who can find Finn!”

“Do you know?” Betty asked excitedly, hopes rising.

“No,” the one said, shoulders slumping. Betty hung her head a little, climbing onto the carpet, realizing that she would need to start her search from the ground up.

“Just kidding!” The one said, adding, “I hear that residents of the Candy Kingdom know him very well--they might know where he lives, or he might live there himself!”

Betty smiled broadly, heart filling like a balloon. She scooped up the joking humanoid and kissed his forehead, saying excitedly, “Thank you, little people! I’ll be back soon, I promise!”

She gripped the carpet tightly in one hand, pulling her hood up in the other, and said, “Carpet, take me to the Candy Kingdom!”

It wooshed off, the little peoples’ cheers fading quickly behind Betty. The sun was starting to sink, the clouds tinged purple, sunlight bleeding over the trees in the horizon.

Soon, pink rose out of the horizon, growing until she saw that it was a colorful kingdom, and happy noises could be heard--laughter, cheers, and upbeat chatter. The carpet alighted to a stop in the middle of a street, startling and scaring some candy-shaped people--to whom Betty shouted, “Sorry!” as they ran away.

Betty hopped off, the carpet following her as she walked down the street, looking for someone who looked like they could answer her questions. Before she could find a potential person to interrogate, an odd-looking brown candy person with a mustache, hat, and old voice asked her, “Heyo, who’re you?”

“I’m Betty Grof the Human,” Betty said, figuring that adding “human” would give her some privileges. She was probably _obviously_ human, but she didn’t know if any magical creatures looked very human and might confuse the candy people.

“And I’m Starchy!” the candy person said. “Another human, eh? I didn’t think there were any besides Finn. What a charming lad.”

Betty pushed her hood off, rubbing her glasses against the hem of the hood, and said, “Yes, I’d like to find Finn the Human--could you tell me where he is?”

“Old Starchy doesn’t know, but Princess Bubblegum is sure to!”

Princess? Betty didn’t know if being titled as human could gift her into meeting royalty, but with the way Starchy so casually suggested it, she could give meeting the royal a shot. “May I meet Princess Bubblegum? Does she let commoners see her?”

“No one is a commoner to her, she loves everybody! Here, let Old Starchy lead you to the castle!”

Betty followed the old candy person, her carpet trailing behind within arm’s reach, all the way to a castle with banana people guarding the front. Nervous, Betty wondered if the guards would let her and Starchy in. Maybe the candy person was lofty with age, and was confused?

The bananas said nothing, allowing Betty and Starchy inside, where other candy people mingled. Starchy said something about something, but Betty was too distracted, watching the candy people with awe. They were so lifelike, so organic--Betty wondered if nuclear radiation was really the cause--like the gray-skinned teenage girl, what was her name, Mary Anne? Marilyn?--had suggested, or if the nuclear war released some old, stored-away magic lost to the ages…

“Here she is!” Starchy exclaimed, jerking Betty out of her thoughts. She looked to where Starchy was pointing, and what she saw surprised her. Betty expected a candy-cane, stick of gum, or something food-esque, but the Princess Bubblegum was much more humanoid than even the tiny people from Little Village. The princess had light pink skin, darker pink hair that was lumpy, like chewed gum, and her eyes were dark pink, but other than that, she was so human.

Instead of wearing an elegant gown, like Betty expected, the princess only wore a simple pink dress under a white labcoat, holding a test tube in each hand, one filled with a light blue liquid.

“You’re the princess?” Betty asked, bowing her head nervously.

“You don’t have to bow,” Princess Bubblegum said lightheartedly, smiling at Betty. “I see you’re new here, and you’re human! Most humans died during the Mushroom War, I’m sure you know, but the few who survived, I haven’t seen a lot, at least not recently! I’ve seen Finn the Human, but he’s the only one within...years...wow! Could you tell me where you came from, are there other humans there?”

Betty gulped, saying, “Oh, there were plenty where I came from. But that was a thousand years ago. I hope this doesn’t startle you, but, I’m from the past, from before the Mushroom War.”

The princess’s face stretched into a look of wonder and curiosity. “Time travel? You wouldn’t happen to have a scientific explanation for this, would you?”

Bonnibel finished mixing the punch--the blue flavoring complimented the red flavoring, giving it a sweet aftertaste--and led Betty Grof the Human through the castle and toward Bonnibel’s laboratory, where they couldn’t be interrupted by Bonnibel’s subjects.  


Shutting the door behind them, Bonnibel told Betty excitedly, “I’m one of the few people left in Ooo who still believe in science--they refuse to accept that magic is just science that hasn’t thoroughly been investigated!”  


Betty clasped her hands together, saying, “My fiance and I, even though we were never surrounded by magic, investigated the supernatural often--we found connections between pagan rituals and many natural occurrences, and hypothesized that if enough people got together and had the same thought, then it would become reality in some form or another!”  


Bonnibel’s face lit up with joy, and she bounced over to Betty, telling her, “That’s what I’ve been saying! I’d love to meet your fiance--maybe with three minds working together, we could disprove the ‘magic and witchcraft’ theories and introduce a new, consistent light upon Ooo!”  


About to agree, Betty realized that Princess Bubblegum wouldn’t likely get to discuss science with Simon so soon, unless she had the cure for his insanity sitting in one of her locked shelves.  


“I’d love to,” Betty confessed, “But, I...I left him behind when I came over.”  


The princess seemed to lose her energy, saying softly, “Oh, I’m very sorry to hear. So, what brought you to Ooo?”  


 _Love_ , Betty thought. She ran her fingers through her hair--getting more and more tangled with each carpet ride--and said, “My fiance survived the Mushroom War, and created a time portal to bring me here. I’ve sworn my new life here to help him, and I think that Finn the Human could help--I hear that he does that a lot.”  


Bonnibel smiles, laughing lightly, and says, “Yeah, Finn is very good at that. So, you’re looking for Finn--wait. Wait. Hold on a moment, did you just say that your fiance _survived the Mushroom War_? I know that it’s possible to survive it, but, you’re saying he’s still alive today--by what means?”  


The princess approached Betty hungrily, dying for an answer. It was so hard to find a living human nowadays--let alone one what was a thousand years old!  


Looking down sheepishly, Betty said, “It’s...complicated. I love Simon, I really do, but he put on this crown and just went...nuts.”  


“ _Simon_?” Princess Bubblegum asked. Something sparked in her eyes, and she gasped. She turned around and marched away, wringing her hands together, head hung a bit, back to the setting sun through the window. Simon--a Simon that put on a crown and went crazy, and was still alive...could he be the Simon Petrikov that Marceline had told Bonnibel about? She’d never thought too hard about the secrets that Marceline would whisper to her while they held each other at night, so long ago. She’d figured that the stories, the memories, were none of her business, but that Marceline needed an audience, and trusted Bonnibel to not pay enough attention to judge.  


Bonnibel wheeled around, asking fearfully, “Simon _Petrikov_?”  


Betty gasped, nodding, and said, “You know him!”  


“Yes, I, I…” Princess Bubblegum squeezed her hands together, to stop them from nervously twisting and moving, and she told Betty, “Everyone knows him, pretty much. I sort of know him, after he went crazy, but Marceline...she knows what he was like before the crown influenced him.”  


Betty pointed at Bubblegum, excited--now she knew the name of the young adult, gray-skinned female! “Yes, I met Marceline! She was there with Finn, Jake, and Simon when I came over! Might she possibly be able to help me?”  


The princess stopped pacing, still squeezing her hands together, and said, “Possibly. I know Marceline well enough, so I think it is _unlikely_ , but not _impossible_. I think that we should keep your options with Finn and Jake open, and save Marceline for a last resort--so, tell me in detail, what is your plan to bring back Simon Petrikov?”  


Leaning against the wall, next to a window that allowed in fresh night air, Betty told Bonnibel, “I plan to find some magic that counteracts the crown’s magic enough to turn Simon back to normal, but not kill him, like it almost did when Bella Noche stole the magic,”  


“You met Bella Noche?” Bonnibel exclaimed in disbelief.  


“Yeah, and I crushed that tranch,” Betty said smugly, smiling, remembering the feeling of pride and relief when the wizard fell down in a broken heap under her fists.  


Bonnibel exhaled slowly, staring into space, a look of contemplation on her face. “You _defeated_ Bella Noche?”  


“Yes, I did--he was a squishy wizard, collapsing right after the second punch.”  


The princess laughed lightly, murmuring to herself, “Maybe Betty will succeed on her quest after all.” Betty was going after a seemingly impossible task--bring back Simon from the shell of the Ice King. But, if Betty could so easily take down Bella Noche, just to keep her love alive, and not to do something so momentous as save the universe, then maybe she could actually save Simon. Princess Bubblegum always told Finn the worst about every enemy, the things like whole kingdoms being destroyed, all life ending, but maybe the key to a successful victory was to focus on the heart. Instead of saying that millions could die, why not focus on the innocents, or people near and dear?  


Could Finn defeat the Lich quicker if he believed that someone he held dear was in immediate danger? Could _anyone_ defeat such a huge enemy if their loved ones were at stake? Bonnibel would investigate later.  


Princess Bubblegum pointed at Betty, saying, “I believe that you could succeed. Me and my people will lend as much help as we can--we’ll all love seeing Ice King turn into a distinguished young gentleman with a princess to distract him.”  


She almost laughed at what she said. Bonnibel continued, saying, “I’ll call Finn and Jake tomorrow, have them come and take you to their treehouse, where they live. You can sleep here tonight. I’ll give you any weapons or supplies you need, and until you find a good place to live, you can stay in my castle. We can be of use to each other, and I might even invite Marceline over.”  


Betty smiled, noticing the look on the princess’s face when she said Marceline’s name. Betty wondered how deep their history went, but refused to pry--she simply thanked Bubblegum and allowed her to call in Peppermint Butler--an actual peppermint butler--to show her to her room. The carpet followed Betty around the whole time, staying close. Betty would have to name it, she realized, as she climbed onto the bed, wrapping herself under the covers. The carpet settled itself down at the foot of the bed, and Betty, exhausted from a very long day, soon drifted into sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty, PB, Finn, Jake, and Marceline brainstorm ideas on how to cure Simon of the Ice Kingness. More Bubbline hints. BMO is typically referred to as "zie" or "zir" throughout this chapter, unless referred to by other characters. I used gender neutral pronouns, in case any readers preferred BMO as a girl, and might be perturbed by "he" instead of "she."   
> Playlist update: "Sweet Nothing" performed by Florence Welch of Florence and the Machine.

Betty awoke to shouts a few rooms away. It sounded like Princess Bubblegum, angry and startled. Betty, not wasting a moment, jumped off of the bed, in a daze for a moment. She reached to the side of the bed for a baseball bat--she and Simon always had a bat by Betty’s side of the bed, since she was the quickest and more fight-hardy of the couple, so she could defend in the case of an intruder. She still wasn’t used to being away from her home that she shared with Simon.

Grabbing empty air, Betty knew she’d have to deal with her fists. She hopped on the carpet and said, “Take me to Bubblegum, quickly!” 

They rushed out of the room--the door swinging open on command--and down the halls, up a stairwell, down another hallway, and into a large bedroom. Princess Bubblegum was under the covers of a large pink bed, crown off of her head, arms outstretched toward an older male figure in a blue tunic. Betty stiffened, recognizing it as crown-influenced Simon instantly. She’d seen him freeze the muscular princess, then get promptly pummeled by her, and though Finn told him he was just a donk to the princesses, him having clearly climbed in through Bubblegum’s open window and into her bedroom was very unsettling. 

“Get away, Ice King!” Princess Bubblegum exclaimed, climbing out of bed to push him away, “I will never marry you!” 

Ice King held his hands up, saying stupidly, “Whoa now, let’s not be irrational about this--I think that because you’ve denied every suitor but me, means you must love me!” 

“I’ve denied you a hundred times more often than those lumps, Ice King!” Bonnibel shouted. She looked over Ice King’s shoulder, spotting Betty, and her fury wavered. Betty wouldn’t tell if it was from surprise, not wanting to offend Betty by insulting her fiance, or from not wanting Betty and Ice King to interact. 

Taking advantage of Bubblegum’s distraction, the older Simon lifted up his hands, blue lasers shooting out of them, hitting Bubblegum and surrounding her body in ice. Bubblegum let out a horrific shriek before shouting, “GUAAAAAARRRDDDS!” 

Ice King moved in toward Bubblegum, pursing his lips to kiss her. Betty gasped, bolting forward to shove herself between the princess and the king. Ice King’s lips hit Betty right on the right cheek, making her jump away with how cold and un-Simon-like they were. Simon had always had soft, gentle kisses, warm, like the rest of him, but Ice King was cold, as were his lips, and so was his kissing method--rough and sharp, a bit slobbery. 

Betty shrank away, revolted, looking at Ice King with disgust. Forcefully kissing young women, no more than eighteen years old? The Simon she knew would’ve never even considered it. Ice King looked surprised, confused, and bewildered, asking, “Hey, who’re you? Are you a princess?” 

Reacting quickly, Betty shoved him forward roughly, knocking him onto his back a few feet away as she said, “You don’t touch people without permission, Simon!” Betty wheeled around and lifted up her right leg, slamming her foot down on the ice, shattered it around the princess’s torso. The rest crumbled as Bonnibel yanked herself free, running up to Ice King and landing a single kick on his side, saying, “GET OUT OF MY ROOM, ICE DONK!” 

The banana guards came rushing in, tripping over Betty’s carpet, which was sitting docilely in the doorway. Ice King grumbled and hovered up, his long beard flapping like wings, and he said, “You’ll be mine one day, sweet princess, and no one can keep us apart, not even Finn and Jake and whoever she is!” He looked at Betty for a moment, appearing to be about to say something. 

“GET OOOOOOUUUUUUUUUT!” 

“Okay, Okay, I’m going! No need to get upset about it.” 

Ice King flew away without saying anything to Betty, leaving chunks of ice on the floor by the side of Bubblegum’s bed. The princess sighed, shoulders slumping, pressing her fingers to her temples. She mumbled to the guards, “Go get the maid to sweep up this ice. If I allow it to melt in here, it’ll ruin my rug.” 

Bonnibel looked up at Betty, looking solemn, and she said softly, “Sorry you had to see that. He does that, I guess you should know.” 

“Finn and Jake told me. They said he was pretty much harmless, but that...didn’t seem so…” Betty took a sharp intake of breath, aware of the tears stinging in her eyes. Ice King had called Bubblegum “sweet princess” like Simon once had to Betty. “I’d like to go see Finn and Jake now, and get on to finding a cure, if you don’t mind. For the good of everybody.” 

The princess nodded, saying, “Yes, allow me to get dressed.” 

Betty just noticed that the princess was wearing an oversized black shirt, advertising a band, but it looked worn and faded, the band name and image peeling from a history of washes. Betty pointed at it and asked, “What’s the story behind your PJ’s?” 

“A friend gave me this. She gave me another one, a long time ago, but I had to get rid of it, so she gave me a new one. I like this one. It’s warm and smells nice.” Bonnibel lifted it up by the bottom and pulled it up to her face, sniffing the fabric, smiling. Betty wondered if it was Marceline that gave her the shirt. It looked like someone that Marceline would have, based on Betty’s first impression of her. 

The princess entered a bathroom to the side of the room, closing the door behind her. Betty waited a few moments, Bubblegum returning a moment later wearing a simple pink outfit; pants and a t-shirt, her hair tied up in a bun. She grabbed a rotary phone from the bedside and dialed a number, telling the person on the other end, “Hey, Finn, it’s me, Princess Bubblegum. Haha, yeah, I know, but it’s a formality. Listen, Betty Grof is here--Ice King’s--I mean, Simon’s--fiance. She’d like it if she could come to your treehouse so she could learn some things about Ooo and potential cures for crown insanity. Will you come over? Thanks, we’ll be in my room. No, no secret code this time--the banana guards know you’re okay to enter now, without you answering their silly questions.” 

She hung up and sat down on her bed, flopping down onto her back. Betty sat down at the foot of the bed, eyes still burning, but the urge to cry was gone. Bonnibel turned her head to look at Betty, saying, “You handled Ice King pretty well--I mean, for him sort of being your fiance and all. Like I said, I’m sorry you had to see that.” 

“And like I said, I sort of expected it. Although I expected it on a lower level of creepiness.” Betty chuckled a bit, saying, “I think I like Ooo. The people seem friendly. This place seems so infinite--surely there’ll be a cure for Simon somewhere.” 

“I’m sure there is,” Bonnibel agreed. “Or, at least, the ingredients for one are.” The two sat in silence for a moment. Two of Simon’s princesses in one room together. It was a bit ironic. Betty took off her glasses and rubbed them against her hood, telling the princess, “I wouldn’t mind a few changes of clothes--eight days’ worth--and a backpack or rucksack. I’ll probably be journeying, so I want clean clothes and something to carry them and my obtained information in. Not to mention food, but I figured that it’d be too obvious to require mentioning.” 

Bonnibel laughed and said, “Yeah, for a moment, I was wondering if you were thinking of food at all. It’s good to know you and I think alike.” 

“Yeah, I guess it...is.” Betty didn’t like it that much. Sure, she had an ally who would help her look for a cure for Simon, but at the same time, Simon’s subconscious was searching for someone like Betty, and if Bonnibel was so similar, he wouldn’t go away. 

As if reading Betty’s mind, Bubblegum said, “Ice King doesn’t go after girls like you. He goes after girls with the name ‘Princess’. Even if they’re not royalty, but if they have ‘Princess’ somewhere in their name, he’ll go after them.” 

“Ooh, that’s a broad scope.” Betty was more anxious than ever. She didn’t want to see her fiance sexually harassing so many young women. It was conflicting to find reasons--first of all, he had become something along the lines of a sexual predator, second of all, Bubblegum couldn’t be much older than eighteen, making her still young in Betty’s and, she presumed, everyone’s eyes, and third, least important but still import, he was hers. Betty couldn’t blame him for going insane and thinking that every princess was his fiance, but she was afraid that the crown might have just unlocked repressed or subconscious emotions--which was why he could still think of “princess”--and that his actions were sort of his own, bringing to light that Simon was attracted to teenagers… 

“Oh, I need a drink,” Betty sighed, flopping her left hand over her forehead and eyes. Bubblegum laughed lightheartedly, saying, “That’s my reaction every time he shows up, to be fair.” 

Betty smiled weakly. Bubblegum sat up, saying, “I’m calling Marceline and telling her to meet us at Finn and Jake’s house.” 

“You’re coming too? Don’t you have, you know, royal duties?” 

“Before Finn was around, I was the adventurer. I still am, but now I have him to go to missions I can’t. I can go to this one, my people won’t mind. They can take care of themselves just fine.” 

The princess picked up the phone, telling the person on the other end, “Hey-ey, Marcie.” Bubblegum blushed slightly, saying, “Ha, no. Not this time. Can you meet me at Finn and Jake’s house? Yes, Finn and Jake will be there. They’re picking me and Betty up--Betty’s coming. I--oh. She’d like to discuss her options, and she thinks we’re all...Marcie...Marcie...Marceline! Ha, okay. Just make yourself decent.” A blush. “Not that kind of decent. Mmhmmm. Okaybuhbye.” 

Betty smiled, sure that “buh bye” sounded more like “babe bye”. Bubblegum put the phone down on the receiver, sucking in a loud breath and exhaling it just as loudly, placing her hands on her hips as she said, “That was a nice chat. We haven’t talked in a while.” 

“Why not?” Betty asked. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but, I’d like to know.” 

Smiling, Bubblegum told Betty, “We just stayed apart for a while to focus on other things and sort of lost touch. We’re the kind of friends that can still be friends after years of no contact, which is good, since we both have busy schedules.” 

_Heh, friends_ , Betty thought, smiling. She thought Bubblegum and Marceline seemed cute. Simon would definitely agree--he loved young couples, ever since he and Betty were one. The thought of him smiling broadly at young love now made Betty’s stomach flop a bit, though, since the question of his morals had entered her mind. 

Ice King and Simon are two different people, she told herself. It seemed a little cruel--someone suffering from a head injury or psychological disorder, being different than before, would be the same person, just ailing. Whether or not Simon was gone or was just ailing, it felt better to think that it wasn’t even Simon, to push blame away from him and force it onto the crown. 

There was a knock on the bedroom door, and Finn’s voice rose, saying, “Uh, princess, we’re here.” 

“And we brought cupcakes!” Jake chimed in. 

“Yeah, Jake was almost done baking them when you called, so we figured we’d bring them and we could all snack on them back to the treehouse!” 

Betty smiled, enjoying to hear how cheery the teenage boy was. Hearing people happy made her happy. Bubblegum went to the door and opened it, allowing Finn to delicately hand her what appeared to be the best cupcake, a blush on his face. Betty tried to keep her smiling to a minimum, but he looked so cute and embarrassed. Maybe Bubblegum was his crush? 

Jake had the basket on his right arm, and when he spotted Betty, he tried to wave--almost knocking the cupcakes over--but settled with saying, “Hi, Betty!” 

Finn waved sheepishly, saying, “Hi, Betty. How are you getting along in Ooo?” 

“Good, good,” Betty said, silent for a moment, trying to find something else to say. “Um, so I found a village where you guys apparently scared off a monster.” 

Smiling broadly, Finn asked, “Hah, which one?” 

“One with tiny people who had all their food eaten.” 

“Oh!” Jake said, “That wasn’t a monster that time--it was our friend, Lumpy Space Princess! She was having some personal problems and needed to work through them. We came along and helped, but the little people thought she was a monster.” 

Finn chuckled, saying, “To be fair, if I was tiny and saw her eating my food, I’d say the same thing. Amiright?” 

“Yeeeeah!” Jake and Finn fist-bumped, cupcakes almost bouncing out of the basket. 

The four all left the castle, climbing on Jake and allowing him to stretch out and take them right to the treehouse. Betty was in awe of what he could do--was it science, like a side effect of generations of radiation, or was it magic? 

Betty ate a cupcake as she dwelled on this. She also marveled at Finn’s hat--it looked like a bear, and was pretty realistic. Was it actually a bear head? 

“We’re here, princesses,” Jake said, stopping in front of a tree house, stretching to his normal size so they could climb off. Betty blushed a bit, saying, “I’m not really a princess, although Simon would beg to differ.” 

Jake smiled, saying, “You sure look like one--you look like Doctor Princess!” 

Finn nudged Jake, saying, “Doctor Princess isn’t a princess--she’s a doctor whose last name is Princess!” 

“Ice King would beg to differ.” 

Betty felt cold all of a sudden, hearing that. The others didn’t seem to notice as they led the way into the large treehouse. She looked around, amazed by the state of the place. It had an atmosphere of adventure, as if one could stay in there for weeks and not get bored. She was sure that’s exactly what it would be like to live there--never being bored. 

A little, genderless voice came from below, in the corner of the room, saying, “Hello, Finn and Jake. Hello, Princess Bubblegum--Finn and Jake didn’t say you were coming.” 

Betty looked down to see a small rectangular-prism-shaped metal creature, resembling a computer or phone, with a face on its screen. The thing looked up at Betty and said, “Hello, I’m BMO, who are you?” 

“I’m Betty, hello, BMO,” Betty said, kneeling down in front of BMO to shake zir hand, smiling, and added, “Nice to meet you.” 

“Nice to meet you too, Betty,” BMO said. Zie glanced up at Finn as the human told him, “BMO, we did tell you that the princess was coming over! You were just too busy playing with yourself!” 

Betty’s cheeks turned red, as did Finn’s, and he stammered, “I meant, BMO was playing a game…” 

Jake laughed and said, “Finn, you muck everything up! Betty, BMO has video games, and will play games alone without us, and that’s what Finn meant!” 

Nodding, Betty said, “I figured that’s what he meant.” She rose to her feet just as there was a knock at the door. Jake stretched his hand out to open it, Marceline standing there with a parasol over her head, hovering over the ground, looking a little upset. 

“Marceline?” Finn asked. 

“I invited her,” Bubblegum said. 

“You can’t invite people over to another person’s house without permission, you know,” Finn said, placing his hands on his hips sassily. 

Bubblegum shrugged, walking toward Marceline. Marceline smiled at her, saying, “You woke me up. I was having a nice dream.” 

“What was happening?” 

“Not sure, but since you’re here, it was worth getting up.” 

Bubblegum blushed, and so did Jake and Finn. Finn and Jake seemed more awkward, but Jake seemed a bit more comfortable than Finn. Betty smiled, wanting to greet Marceline, but not wanting to interrupt the moment. 

Marceline broke her gaze from Bonnibel, turning to look at Betty, and she sheepishly waved, saying, “Hey, Betty.” 

“Hey, Marceline,” Betty said, waving back. As far as she knew, Marceline was the only other person alive who knew Simon before he was Ice King. Seeing her made Betty feel better, yet also uncomfortable. 

Finn and Jake shuffled from foot to foot, Jake asking, “So, do you three ladies want us to give you...privacy?” 

Betty looked to Bubblegum and Marceline, expecting them to have an answer. Marceline tells Betty, “It’s up to you--you’re the one who brought us here.” 

“Oh, yeah, right, I forgot.” Betty tried to hide her embarrassment by clearing her throat and saying loudly, “Okay, I want us all to gather around”--everyone took large steps to get within her personal bubble. Betty’s face turned red, and she huffed through pursed lips, “You guys didn’t let me finish. I was saying that I want us all in a circle somewhere that we can talk clearly. Like a living room or dining room table or something.” 

Finn and Jake laughed, Finn saying, “Oh, okay, we’ve got one of those! Follow us!” 

The two led the three women into the kitchen, to sit at the table off to the side. Betty sat in the middle, Bubblegum and Marceline to her right, Finn and Jake to her left. 

“You’re wearing nice perfume,” Bonnibel told Marceline. Marceline smiled, leaning toward the princess, and said, “Just for you, princess. It’s strawberry bubblegum smell.” 

Clearing her throat, Betty said, “Um, okay, I’d like to talk about finding a cure for Simon. Now, everyone but Princess Bubblegum saw him after the crown’s power was taken away, and he was normal. You people have lived here way longer than I have, and I’d suspect you’d know more than I do about magic or whatever that crown is. Is there any substance or particle that could possible counteract the negative effects of the crown?” 

Finn and Jake stared into space, saying absently, “Uhhhh.” 

“I’m asking if any of you know anything that could make Ice King not Ice King.” 

“Oh!” the two exclaimed, laughing nervously, murmuring, “Yeah, we knew that.” 

Marceline told Betty, “I’m a vampire, so I guess one way to keep Simon alive is to take away the crown’s power like before, but have me turn him into a vampire. I don’t like this plan, but it could work, if you can bring another anti-magic being around.” 

Betty shook her head, saying, “I want my Simon to be Simon, not Simon-vampire. Nothing against vampires, though.” 

“None taken.” 

Princess Bubblegum said, “If Ice King would allow me to perform some tests on him, I could see what was different about him against Finn’s DNA and yours--see what’s not human, see what is, and see if I can remove the not human and replace it with more human.” 

Betty smiled, saying happily, “Sounds good! Finn, Jake, any ideas?” 

Jake piped in, “Uh, if my dad, Joshua, was still around, he could probably lend some ideas. He dealt with magical beings all the time, and would’ve probably come across something that could help Ice King--I mean, Simon.” 

Finn quickly interrupted, saying, “Maybe we could get another magical artifact, like the crown, but one that counteracted the crown? Like, say the crown is a positive two, we find a negative two necklace or something, put it on Ice King, and he’ll become a zero, which would be Simon?” 

“Very smart, Finn!” Bubblegum exclaimed, looking proud of Finn. 

“Yeah,” Marceline said, leaning over Bubblegum and Betty to get closer to Finn. “You’ve gotten smarter. Not becoming a nerd, are you?” 

“What?” Finn’s face turned red, and he leaned away from Marceline, saying, “Never a nerd! I’m still a hero!” 

Betty remembered calling Simon her hero, and she said, “Nerds can be heroes, too.” 

“Not helping my case, Betty!” Finn shrank further away from Marceline. The vampire laughed and leaned back, scooting into Princess Bubblegum. 

Looking to her left and right at the people who were helping her, Betty felt a little sturdier. She’d been having doubts about being able to accomplish such a task on her own, but now, she saw, she wasn’t alone. Even if they were only helping her to get rid of a nuisance, and not to regain a lover, the help was appreciated. 

“Thanks, guys,” Betty said softly. “I’m so thankful for your help.” 

“Ah, it’s nothing,” Jake said. 

“Yeah, Betty,” Finn said, “Ever since we found out that Ice King used to be a normal guy, all I’ve been able to think was about how pathetic he was”--Jake added “not like he wasn’t pathetic before”--“and I’m glad to know I can help make him less pathetic.” 

Betty smiled, opening her arms to Finn, asking, “Can I hug you?” 

As Finn leaned in to hug Betty, cheeks becoming a bit red, everyone wrapped their arms around Betty--Bubblegum’s face became red as Marceline pressed against her back--in one big hug. 

BMO, sitting on the table, opened zir arms, asking, “Am I invited?” 

Finn scooped up BMO and pulled zir into the hug, saying. “Of course you are, BMO.” 

A few rooms away, there was a knock on the front door, and a familiar voice called in, “Hey, guys, can I come in?” 

“Ice King!” Jake and Finn exclaimed softly, in unison with Betty saying “Simon!” 

Marceline and Bubblegum jumped around the table, Bubblegum grabbing Betty’s hand and pulling her away, saying, “We’ve got to hide! He won’t go away if he sees me here, because I’m a princess, and Marceline, since he wants to be in a band with her, and you, since you pushed him this morning!” 

BMO chirped, “Follow me, we’ll hide in Finn and Jake’s room!” 

“You pushed your fiance?” Jake asked Betty. Betty didn’t get to answer as she and the two young women followed BMO up to Finn and Jake’s room. 

The three and BMO shielded themselves from the window by ducking under Finn’s bed, hugging their knees to their chests--even BMO, although zie didn’t need to--and waited. They could hear Finn and Jake talking to Ice King below. 

“Dude, why’re you here?” Finn asked accusingly. 

Ice King told him, “I’ve been having a bad morning, and friends are supposed to help other friends not feel bad, and since you guys are my friends, you should make me feel not bad!” 

Jake groaned, saying, “Why do you keep thinking we’re your friends?” 

“Yeah, man, I think you’ve got a skewed view of what friendship really is.” 

Laughing slightly, Ice King said, “Haha, you guys are funny. See, you’re cheering me up--you really are great friends!” 

“Please, man, just go away.” 

“But I’m not fully not bad yet!” 

Jake asked, “If we cheer you up, will you leave?” 

“Hehe, yeah, sure, guys.” 

Marceline turned to whisper to Betty, “Are you ever going to reveal yourself to him, or are you going to wait until you have a cure?” 

“I already knocked him over this morning,” Betty confessed. “He was trying to kiss Princess Bubblegum.” 

“You can call me PB,” the princess chirped softly. 

Down below, Finn suggested warily and reluctantly, “Uh, why don’t you give us your ideas for your newest fanfiction? You’re not still writing fanfiction, are you?” 

“Oh, yeah! I’ve written a lot more! I’m working on a piece where Fionna and Cake find out that Prince Gumball and Marshall Lee actually have a long, dark history together!” 

Jake sighed, feigning interest as he asked, “Oh, please tell us more!” 

“Tee hee, okay! It turns out that Gumball is a lot older than Marshall Lee, and before Marshall Lee was even born, his mom intended to marry Gumball!” 

Bubblegum gagged, and Betty whispered, “Gumball? Like Bubblegum? He writes...fanfiction for you guys? This is weird.” 

Marceline asked softly, “Did Simon have a history of writing fanfiction before he put on the crown the first time?” 

Betty shook her head, saying, “Not that I know of. Together, we wrote about various scientific theories and their connections to tribal magic--” 

“What’s that?” Ice King asked down below. Betty stiffened, puckering her lips as if she’d eaten something sour. 

“What’s what?” Finn asked dumbly. 

“I heard something.” 

“You probably heard BMO playing with himself,” Jake said, snickering. 

The four could hear Ice King walking around as he said, “No, I know what BMO sounds like, and that wasn’t BMO! Do I smell strawberry bubblegum perfume?” A loud sniff. “Is this the Eu De Peu brand of candy fragrances?” 

Marceline flared her nostrils, whispering, “How does he even know the brand?” 

Bubblegum pressed her hand to Marceline’s mouth. Marceline bit down on Bubblegum’s hand, causing Bubblegum to writhe in silent pain. Betty clamped her hands around Bubblegum’s mouth, making sure that she didn’t make noise. 

Ice King asked, “You’re not hiding any sweet princesses from me, are you?” 

“What?” Jake asked. “Naw, man, we don’t dig princesses.” 

“Oh, yeah right--Finn had Flame Princess, and not to mention how many other princesses just swoon at the sight of him! Totally blocking my game!” 

Finn huffed, saying, “No way man, this isn’t a competition!” 

Jake added, “You know what, just go--Marceline would love to cheer you up! You two can write songs, play instruments…” 

“Yeah, man!” Finn exclaimed, “She digs ya!” 

“She...she does?” Ice King asked. 

“Not in that way, bro. Just go to her house or something, she’ll probably be there.” 

“Hehe, yeah!” Jake snorted. “She doesn’t have a social life, so where else would she be?” 

Marceline hissed softly, and Betty put her forefinger to her own lips--she wasn’t going to make the same mistake Bubblegum did and put her hand near the vampire’s mouth. 

Ice King sounded happy when he said, “Oh, yeah? Thanks, guys. See you later! Thanks again!” 

Ice King could be heard leaving. BMO climbed onto the bed to look out the window. After a moment, zie said, “He flew away! It’s safe to come out now!” 

The three stood up, popping their backs and groaning. 

“Man,” Betty said, “I don’t want another close call like that ever again.” 

“It’s exponentially worse when he’s actually searching for you,” Bonnibel confessed. 

“I’m sure it is,” Betty agreed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty reveals some information about how she and Simon hooked up. Continuous Bubbline hints--I'll probably stop talking about them in the summary since you can assume that whenever one of those two shows up, there'll be hints.  
> Playlist update: "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri.

“Where’s my carpet?”

Betty looked to and fro, her carpet no longer in sight. Now that her memory served, she’d left it at the Candy Kingdom--but when she and Bubblegum had left the room, where’d it go? It was in the doorway, but then it left! 

Princess Bubblegum, holding BMO in both hands, said, “It must still be at the kingdom. It might’ve gone back to your room to wait for you?” 

Nervous, Betty hoped that that’s what had happened. She nodded a bit, agreeing with Bubblegum. 

Jake stretched himself out to be like a horse, saying, “Hey, Betty, I’ll give you a ride back so you can see if it’s at the kingdom.” 

Bonnibel set BMO down and walked toward Jake, saying, “Take me back, too. I think we’re finished here--aren’t we, Betty? Or is there something else you’d like?” 

Shaking her head, Betty told the princess, “Nah. I think I’m good.” 

Finn hopped onto Jake’s back, saying, “I’m coming, too!” 

“Why?” Marceline asked. 

With a shrug, Finn said, “Idunno, mainly it’d be a bit boring back here without Jake.” 

“Fine,” Marceline said, picking up BMO, “BMO and I will have a good time here alone.” 

“Or you can go home,” Jake said. 

Marceline stared at Jake for a moment. 

Finn added, “Just go home.” 

Intense staring. 

Jake moved his hand, saying, “Go-a home-a.” 

Marceline sighed, setting BMO down, and opened her parasol. 

“That’s bad luck to open it in someone’s house!” Finn exclaimed. 

The vampire’s face contorted to be horrifying as she hissed, spit flying out from behind large fangs. 

“It’sokaydowhatyouwant,” Finn and Jake rushed out quickly. At the Candy Kingdom, with Marceline and BMO tagging along--Marceline did in fact do what she wanted, which was coming with, parasol open indoors to spite the others--Betty rushed through the castle to the room that she’d stayed in. 

Finn shuffled his feet, standing awkwardly between Marceline and Princess Bubblegum, and he asked, “So, uh, she stayed here last night?” 

“Yeah,” Bonnibel said. “She came looking for you, and since the most convenient time to see you would’ve been the morning, I allowed her to stay the night.” 

“Is she going to stay here much longer?” Jake asked. “Like, in your kingdom? Or are you kicking her out?” 

“I’ll kick her out when she finds her own place to stay,” Bubblegum said. “But if she needs to use my science lab, she’s more than welcome--the sooner she finds a cure for Ice King, the sooner I can sleep easier.” 

Marceline smiled, saying, “Even with Ice King around, you can sleep easier with me.” 

Jake and Finn looked at each other, saying, “Uhh” in unison. 

“That’s indecent!” Bubblegum exclaimed. 

Laughing, Marceline flew up and hovered in front of Bubblegum, so that her knees were in her face, and said, “I’ll never be decent, can’t you tell?” 

A moment later, Betty came flying out on her carpet, a look of relief on her face. She stopped in front of the others, eyes darting back and forth behind her glasses, and she asked, “Okay, now what’s going on?” 

“Uhh,” Finn and Jake said. 

“I mean, what are we doing now? Am I being dismissed, are we going in the princess’s lab to experiment, are we going to eat some of these candy people, what what?” 

Princess Bubblegum walked around Marceline, saying to Betty, “I’ll get you some supplies of clothes, something to carry them in, a map of Ooo, and other things you’ll need.” 

Betty smiled, saying, “Thanks.” She turned her gaze to Finn and Jake, saying, “And thank you, guys. Your ideas were really helpful--especially you, Finn.” 

BMO threw zir hands in the air, saying, “I was helpful, too, wasn’t I, Betty?” 

“Yes, you were!” Betty said, picking BMO up. BMO reminded her of a child, and she liked BMO so far. Zie seemed like a nice little...robot. 

Marceline asked Betty, “So, where was your carpet?” 

“In my room,” Betty said, patting the carpet’s surface. “I guess it got lonely, or something.” 

“You should give it a name!” Jake said. 

“I’ll think of one eventually,” Betty said, handing BMO to Jake. 

Princess Bubblegum headed toward the entrance to her castle, turning to Finn and Jake to say, “Bye, guys. You can go now.” 

Finn climbed onto Jake’s back, saying, “Um, okay, thanks, Princess. Glad we could help. Come on, Jake, let’s go kill something evil, or something!” 

Jake handed Finn BMO and stretched his legs to be very tall, walking out of the kingdom, chattering with Finn. 

Marceline twirled her parasol, saying, “I guess I’ll be going, too?” 

“Yeah, I suppose,” Bubblegum said. 

“I didn’t really do much.” 

“You did plenty,” Betty reassured her. She looked down at the ground for a moment, a little uneasy, and said, “We don’t really have much to talk about, other than Simon, I guess.” 

“I guess not.” Marceline looked to the side for a moment, then back to Betty, saying, “I bet you’re a music fan.” 

Betty looked up and nodded. 

“Simon was,” Marceline said. “He sang to me after the Mushroom War, while he was still himself. He mentioned you liked the Beatles?” 

“I love the Beatles!” Betty exclaimed, smiling. “Simon actually looks like John Lennon.” 

Bubblegum smiled, asking, “What, did you get engaged to Simon just because he looked like someone from your favorite band?” 

“No, but that’s what got me attracted to him at first,” Betty confessed. Her cheeks became a little red, remembering how she first met Simon. 

Marceline and Bubblegum led Betty inside--turns out, Marceline wasn’t leaving anyway--as Marceline asked, “How’d you even meet Simon?” 

“We met at a college lecture,” Betty informed the two. “It was given by some scientific author about ways that ancient civilizations might’ve developed fairly advanced technologies using techniques lost to the ages upon conquest from European explorers.” 

“Sophisticated!” Bonnibel exclaimed, smiling. She began to jog away, calling over her shoulder, “I’ll go grab some things for you, Betty. I’ll return momentarily!” 

Marceline smiled at Bubblegum, the princess not noticing, and then looked back to Betty. She said, “Sounds like you two were nerds.” 

“Huge nerds,” Betty confessed, smiling. “I was more into the physical facts of any given field, but Simon was more interested in the psychological aspect. He enjoyed the superstitions that came along with scientific discoveries, and, well, after the lecture, we met up and talked about what we enjoyed about the subject, realized that we’d work well together--since we focused on two different things, we could get things done faster--and decided to be partners. It lasted for a few years, and we got engaged a few months ago.” 

Smiling slightly, Marceline said, “Simon mentioned you, but never how he proposed. How’d he do it?” 

“By making a fool of himself,” Betty said, laughing at the memory. Her face turned red, and she actually became a bit embarrassed. 

Marceline noticed this, and she asked, “What? What’d he do?” 

Betty started laughing, and she covered her face with her hands, face hot. Simon was such a dumbdumb! She managed to say, “He decided to sing to me in public. We were in a movie theater, and we’d just left the movie--it was one of the ‘getting married yay wait maybe I shouldn’t’ movies. Then, while I’m in the middle of holding a half full bag of popcorn, an empty soda cup in my other hand, and I really needed to pee, he kneeled down, pulled out a ring, and started singing a song he wrote about wanting to marry me!” 

Marceline laughed, saying, “Wow! What’d you do?” 

“I really had to pee! I was in pain and my arms were full, and people had gathered around ooohing and aaahing and little kids were like ‘Mommy what is he doing’ and I was pleading Simon to stop, I was whispering, ‘Simon, I have to pee and people are staring’ and I swear some people had their phones on hand taking videos!” 

Laughing harder, Marceline slapped her forehead and said, “That’s so stupid but sweet.” 

“I wouldn’t have minded if we were at home or something, but in public? And I had to pee?” 

“Did you say yes right away, or did you say ‘not now’ and leave to pee?” 

Betty sighed, saying, “I said yes, and as he stood up, I said ‘you are my slave now, now take this garbage, throw it away, and let me use the ladies room’ and I handed him the popcorn and soda, I took the ring, put it on, and went to the restroom.” 

“How’d he react?” 

“He laughed nervously. When I came back, I kissed him to assure him that he was okay and that I still loved him, even if he was being a dumbdumb.” 

Marceline smiled, closing her parasol, and she said, “No wonder he’d never tell me how he proposed. When were you two going to tie the knot?” 

“After we finished writing our next book,” Betty said, folding her hands together. “The subject was going to be about using the mind to influence an activity’s outcome.” 

“Sounds like magic,” Marceline said. 

“That was the point,” Betty confessed. “We liked the idea of scientifically explaining things with no explanation. Simon was more interested than I was, which was why he found things like the crown and this book called the Enchiridion. He actually went looking for those.” 

Marceline turned her head and said, “There’s Bonnibel.” 

Princess Bubblegum came running back, a large backpack slung over her shoulder. As she got closer, Betty could see that she held some goggles in her hand, and she told Betty, “These goggles are for when you’re flying--they’re big enough that they can go over your glasses. They’re also stretchy enough that you can pop out the lenses and put your own lenses in there--in case you thought it’d be easier to have prescription goggles instead of goggles and prescription lenses.” 

Betty took the back and the goggles, setting them down on the carpet, and she said, “Thanks, PB. I’ll consider making prescription goggles. What all’s in the pack?” 

“Clothes, a coat, a blanket, a flashlight, writing utensils and paper, a bottle of medicine that works for symptoms like fevers, headaches, stomach pains, muscle pains, and period cramps,” Bubblegum opened the backpack and fished around, adding, “and I almost forgot, a map and a infometer.” 

Bubblegum handed Betty what looked like a camera, saying, “This is an infometer. You take a picture of something with it, and it’ll give you information on it--like name, weakness, whether or not it’s hostile or edible...those kind of things.” 

“Thanks!” Betty said, taking a picture of Marceline. The infometer scanned the picture, then captioned under it, VAMPIRE; NAME: MARCELINE; NOT HOSTILE (USUALLY); STATUS: QUEEN; EDIBLE (IN INTERVALS). 

Lifting an eyebrow, Betty asked, “‘Edible in intervals’? PB, I don’t--” The princess’s face got a deeper shade of pink, and Marceline actually blushed. Betty pretended not to notice, dropping the subject, and simply said, “I really appreciate this. Thanks, PB. Can I have your number, so I can call?” 

“Numbers of people in Ooo are on the back of the map,” Bubblegum informed her. “Mine’s on top, then Finn’s, then Marceline’s...in order of who you’d more likely need to call. If you ever need to come over, just call--and if you ever can’t for some reason, perhaps the lines are down, you can just come over. Call, though, if you can.” 

“Same with me,” Marceline said. “I actually have a social life, not like Finn and Jake would believe me.” 

Betty smiled, saying, “Thanks. I think I have a place to stay, so I’ll go there, now, unless there’s something else I need?” 

Princess Bubblegum seemed thoughtful for a moment, then finally said, “I don’t think so. Also, if you get a phone at your new residence, call me so I can remember your number. Rotary phones don’t have caller ID, so I commit numbers to memory.” 

“Same with me,” Marceline piped up. “I write down numbers, though.” Betty headed off to the Little Village, so she could check out the windmill. That was probably where she was going to stay from now on, until she found something else. 

The people all ran into the streets, greeting her as she landed. One of them cried out, “We cleaned up the windmill for you!” 

Betty took off to investigate, and she entered the windmill, seeing that it was in very good condition. There was a bathroom, a fridge, a bed, a lamp, and a closet--enough to get her by. There was even a phone by the bed, which she used to call Princess Bubblegum, Marceline, and Finn--she noticed that it had a little screen that showed numbers, acting a bit like a caller ID, but it had no way to program names to numbers. That must’ve been what Bubblegum had meant--her phone showed her numbers, but not names. What an odd addition to a phone. 

She thanked the little people and began to unpack. She the clothes in the closet--she left out one pair, and put it in the bathroom--and noticed some food items that Bubblegum had put in. Betty knew that the princess would’ve done that. She put the food in the fridge and on the fridge--the ones that didn’t need to be cold got put on top--and she hung the coat and hood up by the front door. Slowly, she made the windmill a little homey. 

After making the place more livable, she sat down on the bed and looked at the map. She grabbed a pencil out of the bag and drew a star where she was. She drew squares at the Candy Kingdom, Finn and Jake’s house, and, courtesy of Bubblegum writing “Marceline’s cave” down, at Marceline’s Cave. 

She turned her pencil to the hills that said “ICE KINGDOM” and circled it a couple of times. She drew a line from the star, where she was, to the circle--drawing right over lakes, villages, kingdoms, and dungeons. 

“I’ll get you back, Simon,” Betty whispered, folding up the map and putting it under her pillow. She took of her glasses, put them on the bedside table, curled up under the blanket that Bonnibel gave her, and looked out the window by the door. There appeared to be a few hours before sunset, but she was tired. She would get curtains for it tomorrow, but she was too tired today. 

Was it really only two days ago that Betty was back on Earth? She was still technically on Earth, but she was in Ooo--a vastly different Earth than the one that she and Simon had once known. 

And what would she do once she got Simon back? They’d probably stay in Ooo--apparently, Earth was pretty much destroyed shortly after Simon put on the crown. It would be quite a depressing story, to save Simon, then go the past and die during a nuclear bomb drop. 

Thinking of Simon, Betty thought of a Beatles’ song he liked to sing. Yesterday. She sighed, singing it softly under her breath, “Yesterday...all my troubles seemed so far away...now, it looks as though they’re here to stay…” Closing her eyes, she mumbled, “Oh, I believe in yesterday...goodnight, Simon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm apologizing because I realized I might've made a few mistakes about the carpet. I think it was actually referred to as rug and I'm told it's purple. I'm partially colorblind so colors like purple typically look blue and yatta yatta so if I use colors wrong, it's that. The person who told me it's purple also has a history of legitimately using the phrase "blood orange" so they may just be pretentious and I'm right about it being dark blue. No clue. And I'm trying to refrain from putting details on positions of things within houses and whatnot, because I'll definitely mess up. I'll be vague with those things for the sake of discrepancy and time. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty goes out to see more of Ooo. There's actually no Bubbline hints this chapter. What a miracle.  
> Playlist update: "Someday" by Nickelback.

Betty was examining the map that Princess Bubblegum gave her. It had little captions under some places--things like “Marketplace; cheap” and “Marketplace; quality” and the like. Betty was probably going to go to the cheap market and see what they had--she had no clue what the currency was, but they could tell her there.

She hopped on the carpet and flew out, telling it to take her to the marketplace. As the carpet flew, Betty’s eyes began to burn. She should’ve put on the goggles, or combined them with her glasses. Even though she had the pack with her, she’d left the goggles at the windmill. 

The rug stopped at the outskirts of the marketplace, where Betty got off--making sure that it followed her--and looked around. She noticed that a vender had a variety of combs and brushes, and realized that she didn’t have one with her--Bubblegum didn’t give her one, and she didn’t bring one over with her to Ooo. 

Betty hurried over to the vendor, asking, “How much is a brush or comb?” 

“I’ll take those glasses in trade!” the vendor exclaimed. Betty shook her head, saying, “No way, man. There’s gotta be something else.” 

“Your hair!” 

“You idiot, why would I make myself bald in return for a comb?” 

The vendor yelled at her and told her to leave. Huffing, Betty folded her arms and sulked away, the rug following her. To her right, someone told her, “I’ll give you a brush, if you do something for me in a rush!” 

Betty turned and went over to the person at spoke. It was a goose, who said, “I’m Choose Goose, and if you go on my quest, you’ll have nothing to lose!” 

Lifting an eyebrow, Betty asked, “A quest? For a brush? What’s the quest?” 

“Go to the nearest dungeon and bring me three of what you find--be it onion, bumblebee, or dime!” 

Betty pursed her lips, contemplating. She heard that there were treasures in dungeons--if she found a good stash of gold or something, why would she give it to a goose in exchange for a brush? 

Nodding, Betty said, “Deal. Where should I go?” 

“How should I know? Just go where you go!” 

“Huh. Gee, thanks,” Betty said sarcastically. She hopped on the carpet and said, “Rug, take me to the nearest dungeon.” 

It flew off, taking Betty with it. Betty closed her eyes against her whipping hair and the strong wind. When the rug slowed to a stop, she opened her eyes, seeing a hole in front of her, stairs heading down into the depths. Trees were all around, vines overgrown along the trunks of huge, old trees. It was quite pretty. 

Betty reached into her pack and pulled out the flashlight, turning it on, and told her carpet, “Go down with caution.” 

Slowly, the carpet descended, Betty’s flashlight illuminating the stone walls and stairs. The dungeon was dank and smelly, the sound of water dripping and echoing more and more the further down Betty went. A thought crossed her mind--maybe she’d find a magical artifact down here that could counteract the crown? 

Although it was unlikely, she didn’t put the thought out of her mind. If there was even a small a chance that she could find something to save Simon, she would take that chance. 

The dungeon leveled out, turning into a long corridor or hallway, with cells on either side, the metal bars rusty. Betty pulled close to every cell, shining her flashlight in. Most had skeletons, wearing ragged, dusty, moth-eaten clothing, with nothing else in there, save for greenish-brown puddles of nasty water, puddling up from where the ceiling dripped. 

Betty came to one cell on the left, and she saw what appeared to be an amulet in there, next to a skeleton. The amulet was greenish, moss growing over it, but it appeared to be made of gold. Maybe it was an enchanted amulet that could take away the crown’s power? Still unlikely, but still hopeful. 

Using her flashlight, Betty knocked down a few of the rusty bars and slipped into the cell, stepping into a puddle. Betty screwed her face in, revolted, but still went to the skeleton, the amulet next to it. She picked it up with her left hand, the flashlight in her right, and inspected the amulet. It didn’t look very magical, but neither did the crown. 

The skeleton groaned, beginning to move. Betty gasped, asking, “What?” 

Groaning, the skeleton grabbed for the amulet. Betty slapped it with the flashlight, saying, “What, man? You can’t move--you don’t have muscles?” 

“Yes I do!” the skeleton exclaimed. 

“No you don’t!” Betty insisted, “You don’t even have vocal chords!” 

“I don’t?” the skeleton gasped. 

“No! You’re a skeleton!” 

“You’re racist!” 

“No I’m not, I’m pointing out the facts!” 

The skeleton stopped moving, staring into space with empty eye sockets. After a moment, the skeleton said, “I guess I never thought about it. I am a skeleton. What do I do now?” 

Betty shrugged, putting the amulet into her pack, “I don’t know. Do what you want to do.” 

“I don’t know what I want to do.” 

“Then wait until you do, man,” Betty told him. “I’m sure it’ll come to you.” 

The skeleton sighed, saying, “I appreciate you telling me about myself.” 

“You’re welcome. Hey, do you know if there’s anything down here that I can have for trade?” 

Rising to his feet, the skeleton said, “Yeah. Just go to the cells with stuff in them that you want, and tell the other skeletons that Jimmy said it’s okay.” 

“Your name is Johnny?” 

“No, but they don’t care.” 

Betty laughed and told the skeleton, “I appreciate your help. Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

Betty went to every cell, checking for things, and told each skeleton that Johnny said it was okay. The skeletons would promptly hand her whatever they had--silver goblets, bronze rings, and even a gold tooth. The last one handed Betty a stick surrounded by dried out, thin vines. She examined the pointed stick, asking the skeleton, “Is this worth anything?” 

“I traded my left leg for this thing,” the female skeleton, missing a leg, said. “I’m sure it’s worth something.” 

“Thanks,” Betty said, hopping on her rug and leaving. She went to the Candy Kingdom first, to get Princess Bubblegum to look at the things she found. She flew into the castle and found Princess Bubblegum in her lab. 

“Betty, what’re you doing here? You didn’t call me.” Bubblegum took her safety goggles off, some beakers on the table next to her. 

Reaching into her pack, Betty said, “I apologize, but I need you to look at some things I found. I want to see if they have any magic in them that could save Simon.” 

Princess Bubblegum took the ring, amulet, goblet, and stick, setting them on her table. She picked up a metal device with a screen on it, waving it over all of the things, and said, “None of these are inherently ‘magical’ in the sense that the crown is. The wand, though, has the power of levitation--whatever you point it at can move with your power of will.” 

“Really?” Betty took the wand and pointed it at an empty beaker. She swung the wand around in circles, making the beaker fly into the air and spin in circles. Betty laughed, but the beaker interrupted her by dropping to the table and shattering. 

Betty gasped, covering her mouth with her hand, and she said, “I am sooo sorry!” 

Bubblegum looked agitated, but simply said, “Just practice on things that aren’t so fragile. This wand will surely help you on your search.” 

Princess Bubblegum reached into a pocket of her labcoat, saying, “I forgot to give you a comb yesterday. Here’s one.” She handed a white comb to Betty. Betty smiled, realizing now that she didn’t need to give the goose those things. She thanked the princess and then promptly began to comb her own hair, hearing the scratching sounds as the hair became untangled. 

Leaving the castle, Betty figured that she would probably put her hair up in a ponytail more often, to prevent as many tangles. She still needed curtains, so she would go to the marketplace again and try and get some there. The rug alighted at the marketplace, and she hopped off, going to the vendor with blankets, sheets, and curtains. 

“What do I have to give for the curtains?” Betty asked, planning on giving the ring. 

“What do you have?” 

Betty pulled out the ring, and the vendor told her, “That’ll be enough for curtains for two windows!” 

“I only have one,” Betty said, looking at the ring sadly. 

“Then I’ll give you something else worth half the ring, alright? What would you like?” 

Thinking for a moment, Betty was glad for such a kind vendor. After a moment of thought, she said, “I’ll take some boots. Ones good for trekking around.” 

The vendor pulled up some pairs of boots from under the stand, setting them on the desk, and said, “Pick which pair you like, pick some curtains, and I’ll take that ring!” 

Betty handed the vendor the ring and took the curtains and the only well-fitting boots, stuffing them into her pack. She hopped onto the rug and flew to the windmill, promptly putting the curtains up and putting on the boots. They fit her almost perfectly--there was a little bit more room than necessary for her toes at the front, but she didn’t mind. 

The phone began to ring, and Betty ran over to it to answer quickly--before the caller had a chance to hang up. She picked up, asking, “Hello, who is this?” 

“This is Finn the Human? My number’s on that map that the princess gave you, you know.” 

“I know, sorry, but I didn’t bother to look. Why are you calling?” 

“Jake and I were doing some research, looking through Joshua’s stuff, and we have a list of where a bunch of other crown-like artifacts are. If we gather them all and the crown, I suppose we could give them to Peebles and have her inspect them--see which one would counter the crown?” 

Betty was overwhelmed with joy, “Thanks, Finn! Tell Jake thanks, too!” 

“I hear ya!” Jake said. 

Finn told her, “I’m glad we can help, I really am. If you come over, we can give you the list, and maybe mark down where these places are on the map, and, umm...stuff.” 

Betty smiled, excited. She was one step closer to saving Simon--well, more like five, thanks to Finn and Jake. “Thanks! Is today a good time?” 

“Yeah, I guess so.” 

“I’ll be on my way in a few minutes. Bye, guys, see you in a moment!” 

Betty hung up, putting the important things in her bag--pencils, map, infometer, treasures, and some snacks. She planned on going to find at least one artifact that day, so some snacks to keep her through the day would be nice. 

She put the goggles on over her glasses, finding them uncomfortable, so she just popped out the lenses of her glasses and put them in the goggles. The rubber edges molded into the lenses, much to Betty’s joy. She put on the goggles, grabbed her pack, hopped on the rug, and told it to take her to Finn and Jake’s. 

Now with the goggles on, her eyes didn’t water during the flight, but her hair still whipped everywhere. She’d definitely need to put her hair up in a ponytail or braid. 

Coming to a slow halt at Finn and Jake’s, she hopped off and knocked on the door. Jake answered, greeting Betty by saying, “We have a doorbell.” 

“You do?” Betty looked to the side and saw it. She nodded, adding, “Sorry, but i prefer to knock.” 

She entered, and Finn walked up to her, holding a piece of paper. “This is the list of places,” he said, pointing to the top, and added, “We didn’t know if you’d prefer proximity or ease to be how it’s sorted, so we sorted them by what’s closest to furthest, and numbered them in what’d be easiest to hardest to get.” 

“Thanks, Finn,” Betty said, taking the paper. She pulled the map out of her backpack and said, “Here’s my map. Will you mark these places on there for me?” 

“Sure,” Finn said, sitting down at the sofa, taking the list back, and started to draw on the map. After a moment, he handed both back to Betty, saying, “Here you go, and I numbered them from easiest to hardest, so you’d have something to cross reference on the list.” 

Betty looked at the list. The one that would be easiest to obtain was an amulet that granted the wearer selective invisibility. If that ended up being the one that cured Simon, he’d have a fun time with that. 

Once again, Betty thanked the two. Jake walked up, holding two leather gauntlets, and said, “Here, these are for you. They’re not as cool as Billy’s gauntlet, but these will help you punch monsters and stuff.” 

“Cool, thanks,” Betty said, putting them on. “Are they magical?” 

Finn told her, “They pack a harder punch than most gauntlets, that’s for sure. I bet you could knock the skull off of a skeleton’s neck in one punch!” 

Wiggling her fingers, Betty said, “Sounds nice. Thanks again, guys, for all this. I guess I’ll be going, so I can go get one of these bad boys.” 

Betty left, hopping on the carpet, map in hand, and told the rug, “Rug, take me to the abandoned mines!” 

The rug took off, Finn and Jake waving and calling out goodbye behind and below her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's reading this! Feel free to leave comments or kudos if you like this, I'd appreciate it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty goes mining for the amulet. She also drops some hella ill beats.

The rug flew Betty over a wild forest, then over the Ice Kingdom, over a desert, and into another forest, where it began to descend as it passed a large river. It slowed to a stop in front of a hole in the side of a hill, almost overgrown by tall weeds. It was large enough to kneel and crawl into, surrounded by a frame of wood to support it. Betty approached it cautiously, pulling her flashlight out to shine it in there. There were a few planks of wood hanging loose here and there, but the soil appeared to be hard-packed.

“Gotta practice my magic, first,” Betty told her rug. She pulled out the wand, pointing it at a rock a few feet away, and moved it up slowly. The rock lifted up shakily, reflecting how unsure Betty was. 

She carefully moved the rock over to the rug and set it down gently. The rug docilely accepted the rock, not seeming concerned. Betty picked up a leaf and moved it over, setting it onto the rug. 

“Heh,” she said, smiling. This was kinda fun. She looked around to see what else she could lift up. She saw a bird sitting on the ground, pecking for worms. Smiling mischievously, Betty pointed at the bird and lifted it up against its will. The bird squawked, flapping its wings desperately. Betty lifted it up higher, moving it over to the rug. Obviously, she couldn’t set it down, so she willed the wand to let it go--the bird started flying away upon release, crying out in English, “That was uncalled for, lady!” 

Eyes widening, Betty was overwhelmed with embarrassment, hands clammy in the gauntlets. Laughing nervously, she called after the bird, “Sorry, man!” 

“Sorry my booty eggs!” it retorted as it flew into the distance. 

Betty placed her hands on her hips, breathing out shakily--man what a weird thing--and told the rug, “I think I got enough practice for now. Okay, are you going to sit out here, or come in with me?” 

The rug moved closer to her. She knocked the rock and leaf off, saying, “Alright, mate.” She hopped on and pointed forward with the wand, aiming at a fallen plank in the mine, and said, “Onward with caution.” 

Slowly and, much to Betty’s satisfaction, cautiously, the carpet headed forward. Betty moved the plank over carefully with the wand, and, flashlight in her left hand, she illuminated every part of the mine. She cleared out all debris in her path, and above her, to prevent any unfortunate incidents. If the mine were to cave in, there’d be no one to get her. Finn and Jake sort of knew where she was, but they wouldn’t know that she was in danger, unless they had some sort of I-think-someone’s-in-danger-sense. Betty wouldn’t put that past them, but she didn’t want to tempt fate. 

The mine headed down steeply, but there didn’t appear to be any dramatic drops. As Betty and the rug traveled on, Betty started to hear water dripping, but louder and faster than it had in the dungeon. As they went deeper, the sound of running water became louder, though muffled, and Betty figured that they’d approached the river that she spotted earlier. 

Ahead, the mine forked, to go down left, or straight right. Betty halted the rug and shone her light down the tunnel to the right. It went on too far to show her where or if it ended or turned. She shone the light down the left, and saw that it started to decline steeply very quickly. 

“To the right,” Betty said, and the rug began to rush to the left. 

“Your other right, bugrug!” 

It turned around and went down the other tunnel, acting more wary, as if it were embarrassed. Betty used the wand to move a toppled cart, some rocks still in there. She used the wand to sift through it, to see if the amulet was in there. It wasn’t, so she kept moving. She carefully removed a lodge pickaxe in the wall and put it into her pack--it might make a good weapon--and kept moving. She moved more carts, inspected more rocks, replaced fallen beams, and kept moving. Eventually, the tunnel ended, and, with a groan, Betty told the rug, “Go down that other tunnel. This is a dead end.” 

The rug turned and followed Betty’s illuminated light. Aloud, she asked the rug, “Okay, why do people hide their magic artifacts in mines and dungeons and quarries and stuff? Like, I get magic rocks being in mines and quarries, but fully formed jewelry? Who finds a gem or a magic gem, and is like, ‘Oh man, I gotta make a necklace, or a crown, or a ring, or a glove, or a necklace--wait, I already said that--and _toooootes_ hide it for some fool to find it while they’re mining or something’. Like, what’s up with _that_?” 

Betty and the rug got halfway down the tunnel by the time she finished her speech. It was sloping down rapidly, and the sound of running water became louder. 

“Be careful up ahead,” Betty told the rug, giving it a friendly pat. The tunnel became wider, and it rounded out more. Water could be seen dripping from the water-smoothed roof, along with the smoothed walls and ground. Gulping, Betty figured that the river drained into the mine now and then, flooding it, and that was why mining stopped. 

_That still doesn’t explain why someone would hide a magical amulet down here_ , Betty thought to herself. Maybe it made the wearer crazy, like the crown did to Simon, or had other negative side effects, so the last person who had it hid it away to keep it out of other peoples’ hands? 

Betty tried to ignore the thought about more negative side effects--hopefully it wouldn’t give Simon double insanity if he wore it. 

The tunnel finally came to a stop--at a pit of water. Water from the ceiling dripped into it, ripples running over the darkness. Betty shone her light into the water, seeing that it was deep enough that her light couldn’t illuminate the bottom. Curious, Betty pointed her wand at the water, willing it to move. A few drops lifted up out of the water in one large drop, and Betty gasped, dropping it. 

“Holy junk!” she exclaimed, telling the rug, “I can’t lift up all the water, but maybe I can open up enough that I can breathe when I descend! I’ll leave you here, and I’ll get into the water, and leave space for my mouth and nose so I can breathe! And, since my flashlight appears to be waterproof, then I won’t be left in the dark!” 

The rug, being a mere rug, did not respond. Betty loved her brilliant plan. She hopped off of the carpet and moved over to the edge of the water, then stopped. Why get her clothes wet? She took off her gauntlets, shirt, pants, and shoes, leaving her in her underclothes and goggles. Betty set the clothes onto the rug and said nervously, “Well, here I go! I guess.” 

As Betty approached the water, she changed her mind, setting her goggles onto the carpet. Those where her prescription lenses, and if she got those damaged, then she’d be in trouble. It was unlikely to find a certified eye specialist in Ooo, unless they used magic to fix their eyes. She slipped into the water, crying out in surprise--she didn’t expect it to be cold--but waded in deeper. The decline was steep, so she was soon up to her chin. She crossed her fingers, hoping that it would work, and held her wand to her face, willing a bubble of air around her. 

“Please don’t let me asphyxiate from deoxygenated air as I descend and reuse the same air,” Betty begged. Maybe she would be able to will the oxygen from the water into her bubble to replenish her supply--if she couldn’t, then she would basically be breathing in a waterproof paper bag as she went down. 

Betty anxiously submerged herself in the water, but the wand delivered--there was a bubble of air around her nose and mouth. Her hair floated around her face, trying to go up, toward the surface. 

Creeping down, Betty felt the water pushing her up. It seemed a little bit dense, meaning that it was probably full of salt, or other minerals that increased the density, which would make it good for floating, but not for sinking. 

The flashlight was in Betty’s left hand, which she held in front of her, aiming it down. She pushed off with her legs, swinging her left arm to swim. The wand arm was going to stay firmly in front of her dry lower face, so her swimming was hindered. 

Betty swam deeper and deeper into the depths, and she noticed that the decline turned up sharply. She didn’t like the looks of this. If she went down that passage and there was an emergency, she wouldn’t be able to float up to the top--she’d have to swim down, then back up. 

Knowing that this amulet could be what saved Simon, Betty continued on, going where she didn’t want to go. She swam through the new passage, and up, the air bubble staying dutily by her airways. The passage leveled out in front of her, and she swam forward, hoping that she would reach an air pocket above soon, or maybe just the amulet sitting at the bottom, having sunk. 

She didn’t find it on the bottom, or lodged in the walls or the ceiling, so she kept swimming, awkwardly kicking her legs and swinging her left arm. Betty looked around--vision blurry from lack of glasses and the water--but couldn’t see anything. The passage started to go deeper, and she groaned within her bubble. Did the miners dig it to be this weird, or did the water really erode it that much? And why would it erode like a roller coaster? 

“This is a bunch of junk,” Betty said in her bubble. She saw that the passage began to move up, and she swam up quickly. She came to an air pocket, to which she flopped out happily. Water dripped off of Betty as she crawled out and rose to her feet. 

Throwing her hands into the air, Betty cried out loudly, “I’m free!” 

Her voice echoed along the tunnel loudly, repeating, “M free...M free...M free…” 

Regretting having been so loud, Betty shone her light down the tunnel. Tiny lights turned on in the darkness, which she saw were eyes. Gasping, Betty backed up to the water, saying, “Um, sorry to disturb you…” 

Loud, high-pitched shrieks came from the creatures, which Betty realized were bats. Now she knew that this turned into a cave, with the exit somewhere near, but now she knew it was occupied. She also knew that if a bat bit her, she could get a serious infection and die--not to mention if she’d turn into a bat, which could be possible with Ooo’s logic. 

“I’m out!” Betty jumped backwards as the bats flew to her, shrieking. She sunk into the water, the bats circling above her. She realized that she forgot to deploy the bubble, and she simply floated beneath the surface, shining her light at the bats for a moment. 

Moving the wand up to her mouth, Betty created the bubble. She inhaled deeply, calming down--she didn’t realize how fast her heart was beating. 

She turned and began to swim down, mentally kicking herself for not finding the amulet. It was sure to be in the room that the bats were in! 

“Stupid stupid,” Betty said tapping herself on the forehead with her flashlight. “Idiot idiot. Forgot the amulet, amulet.” 

After a moment of swimming in silence, Betty tried to pass the time by rapping. 

“My name is Betty Grof,” she started, trying to come up with a rhythm in her mind, “but you can call me Betty Grof the Human...cuz I’m the new man...in Ooo...glob _dobbit_ , man, if only I was a little bit less white, _then_ I might actually be able to drop some truly ill beats.” She didn’t notice that her bubble had been wavering, and as she said “beats” water surged into the bubble, in through her nose and mouth, headed for her esophagus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, feel free to leave feedback and kudos! I'd love to know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not very exciting, my apologies if you were looking forward to an epic battle or something. That'll be in the next chapter.   
> Playlist update: "Me and My Broken Heart" by Rixton. It's a bit more like an Ice King/Simon song.

The water rushed into Betty’s lungs without permission, intruding into the most vulnerable part of her internal body. After having survived pneumonia four times and chronic bronchitis six, her lungs--like, half of one was gone, and a fourth of the other was gone--were least prepared for an onslaught on water than they ever could’ve been.

Letting out a scream, bubbles gushed out of her nose and mouth, but she didn’t drown right away--in fact, not at all. She had her eyes clenched shut, muscles tight, and she floated up and down a bit, waiting to drown, but she breathed in and out normally--more fearfully and shakily, as she feared that she would _drown_. 

Instead, the water entered her lungs, and left, a lot like air--it was a lot slower and sluggish, and it burned her nose and roof of her mouth, but it was supplying her with the oxygen she needed. 

Betty stared into the darkness. She looked at the flashlight in her hand, and whacked herself on the right arm with it, to make sure that she was still alive, and not some ghost. 

She folded her hands together like a prayer--still holding onto the wand and flashlight, though--and thought, “Oh, glob, please don’t let this be some cruel joke and that this is what the afterlife really is and it’s eternal punishment to relive your dying moments because I don’t want to breathe water in limbo for all eternity...I say these things humbly in the name of glob amen.” 

Betty opened her eyes, and was still okay. Gulping, mouth salty, she determined to keep swimming. She swam down the passage, heading to where the rug was, digging into her memory palace to find an excuse for why she could breathe in the salty water. 

Out of the blue, it hit her in the memory of Simon coming to her one day and saying, “Fun fact! Perfluorohexane is a clear, water-like liquid that has enough oxygen in it to keep a mammal supplied with enough oxygen to live! I found THAT out from this week’s _Intelligence Digest_ today! Isn’t it neat?” 

“Simon you big nerd you blessing from glob!” Betty exclaimed, words coming out in glubs. She swam with both hands--still holding the flashlight and wand, of course--and headed to the rug. This substance was most likely not perfluorohexane, but whatever this was, it had enough oxygen in it to keep Betty alive! 

She could see the opening approaching, and she swam faster. As she burst out into the oxygen-rich air, she expected to be majestic, her auburn hair flying back like a certain redhead mermaid, but instead, it was torture. She took in a gulp of air, expecting it to feel fresh and clean, but instead, the air was blocked off by a wall of perfluorohexane-wannabe, strangling Betty. 

“Gah!” she gasped out breathlessly, grabbing onto the soft ground with her hands desperately, trying to drag herself up. The pain was shredding her insides, like her lungs had little claw-beasts trying to rip their way out of her torso and into the world. 

Betty began to vomit the liquid, body shuddering with the effort. The air hit her like a million Alaska winds, reminding her of that one time she tried to mimic a Finnish sauna while she was studying in Alaska...it didn’t turn out so well, but it was a lot more pleasant than it was now. 

Pain filled her whole being, and Betty tried her hardest to expel the foreign body from her lungs. Without her command, the rug flew under her, scooping her up like a baby, and flew her out of the mine and over Ooo. Betty vomited the water onto the rug, unable to control herself. She would’ve hurled over the side, if she could, but she couldn’t move. 

Black began to surround her vision, and Betty became lightheaded. Her lips felt cold, and she quickly found herself in blissful darkness. 

When she came to, she was in what appeared to be a hospital. The overwhelming stench of cleanliness engulfed her in a welcoming embrace, reminding her of better times. She always loved hospitals since she was a little girl, which was odd for most people. Most people hated it because they associated it with death, while Betty associated hospitals with health and improvement. Whenever something bad happened to a family member, they went to the hospital, and seemed to get better magically--how she interpreted it as a little kid. The impression stayed with her, to the point where she interned at a hospital and planned to go into the medical field before she met Simon. 

Someone was by her side--a male nurse that appeared to be made of candy. 

Betty pried her eyes open, the crust around her eyelashes cracking off. Her eyelids were heavy, and she didn’t feel so hot--there was a thing on her mouth, and a tube running down her mouth, throat, and what she presumed to be her lungs. They wouldn’t do that to her stomach, not when she was _drowning_ earlier. 

“Hello,” the nurse greeted her. “I’m Nurse Gumdrop. You’re at the Candy Kingdom Hospital.” 

Squinting at the nurse, Betty tried to respond, but was too exhausted to. 

A calm female voice came from out of Betty’s sight, saying, “You should probably get some rest--you had some serious jazz in your lungs.” 

The speaker entered Betty’s line of sight, a greenish-skinned doctor with glasses and hair in two ponytails. “I’m Doctor Princess. Also, I’m not actually a princess. Everyone gets that messed up. Your rug brought you here, naked, and we had no knowledge of who you were, so we looked through the bag on the rug. I hope you don’t mind--we found some names on the back of that map, so we called the one you had starred.” 

Betty tried to say “I starred one?” but only gurgled. 

“It was Marceline the Vampire Queen, so we called her first. She’s here, in the waiting room. Want us to get her?” 

Betty simply stared. Everything was fuzzy, without her glasses on, and she hoped that her rug had her flashlight and wand, along with her other things like clothes. The doctor said that they found her map, so it at least had the things in the pack. 

“We pumped most of the liquid out of your lungs. You’ll leave the day after tomorrow, if you keep improving at your rate. We’ll give you some pills to take to keep your condition improving. I’ll go get Marceline.” 

Without the doctor and the nurse to talk to her, Betty conked out a moment later. 

Sometime later, when Betty reawoke, Marceline was sitting next to her. Betty’s mouth was clear of tubes--she had some in her nose, but it didn’t impede her speech--and she felt even better. 

Marceline, sitting in a chair beside her, smiled, and said, “Hey, Betty. What happened? The rug couldn’t tell me.” 

Coughing, Betty said weakly, “Eh...I tried to find a magic amulet...you know...for Simon.” 

“Did you find it?” 

“No, but I know _where_ to find it. It’s at some abandoned mine. I just made the unfortunate mistake of deeply inhaling oxygen-rich liquid.” 

Marceline reached into her pocket, pulling out an apple, and chomped down on it to suck the red out of it. She threw the white apple over her shoulder, it landing in the garbage can behind her, and she said, “Very unfortunate. It _is_ fortunate that you had a rug that knew enough to take you to the hospital. I recognize it--it’s my ex’s rug. You know, it never would’ve done that for him. It must like you. You should name it.” 

“I will eventually.” 

Smiling sadly, Marceline added, “Simon was over at my house when I got the call from the hospital. He asked if he should come, even though I didn’t tell him who was hospitalized. I guess he wanted to stay in my company for a while.” 

“You didn’t let him, did you?” 

“Nah. He also might’ve wanted to see Doctor Princess again. It’s a good thing she doesn’t hold any grudge.” 

Betty smiled. She closed her eyes, sighing, and said, “I’m tired.” 

“I’ll let you sleep.” 

Marceline stopped talking, and the moment of silence allowed Betty to doze off. She had a short dream about riding a pancake like a rug through a maple-syrup waterfall that ended up being a time machine...and Betty woke up craving breakfast foods ravenously. 

She was alone upon waking up. She sighed, closing her eyes, but didn’t fall asleep. She wanted to go back and find the amulet, but she didn’t know if she had the heart for it anymore. 

Betty yawned, smelling candy all around her. Man, she was hungry. Hopefully there would be breakfast foods somewhere in the hospital… 

She awoke without realizing that she’d fallen asleep. Glob must have heard her prayers, for the nurse had brought her a tray of pancakes. Betty’s eyes widened, and she sat up to eat it, thanking Nurse Gumdrop. 

After lunch, Doctor Princess came in to tell Betty that she could go either that afternoon or the next morning. Betty left that afternoon, putting on the change of clothes she had worn to the mine, and got on her rug--the wand, goggles, gauntlets, and flashlight were sitting on it. She put on the gauntlets, goggles, and put away the wand and flashlight, telling the carpet to take her to the windmill. 

Once they got there, Betty went to unload her backpack, grabbing onto something that she didn’t recognize. It was cool and round. Betty pulled it up, seeing that she was holding an amulet by the jewel. 

Her eyes widened, and Betty fumbled through the pack for the list. She pulled it out, finding that the amulet’s description matched the amulet in her hand. 

“Oh, glob!” Betty exclaimed. She looked at the rug, asking it, “Did you put this here?” 

It didn’t answer, but she knew that the answer would be no. Then, she thought about how Marceline asked where the amulet was--and Betty felt like she had a pretty good ally. 

She went to the bathroom to change into a new pair for pajamas, and as she changed, she saw that she was on her period. Huffing, agitation hit Betty--she hoped that pads were a thing in Ooo. 

Heading over to the phone, she dialed Marceline’s number, saying, “Hey, it’s me, Betty.” 

“Hey, Betty. Like the gift I left you?” 

“Thanks a bunch, Marceline--I love it.” 

“It’s also a bit of a gift for me. I miss Simon, too.” 

“Yeah. Hey, you wouldn’t happen to have any pads to spare?” 

“I do, actually. I guess I could bring them to you, or you could come and get them--you know where I live, right?” 

“Mmm-hmm, it’s on my map of Ooo. I’ll be coming right away, since it’s kind of important.” 

“Totally.” 

Betty finished changing and got some things together into her pack. She put on her goggles as she hopped on the rug, rubbing it gently, and told it, “Thanks for helping me, rug. I should name you. Why don’t I call you...Matt? Sorta punny, eh? Not funny? Oh well, you’re Matt from now on. Take me to Marceline, please.” 

The rug flew out of the windmill and up into the air, headed to Marceline’s cave. After passing a large forest, a large cave appeared. Matt slowed down to glide smoothly into the cave, where Betty saw a cozy-looking house inside. Betty hopped off of Matt and knocked on the door of the house. Marceline opened the door, hair up in a ponytail, and said, “Hey, Betty, come on in. I’ll grab the pads.” 

Betty entered, the rug staying on the porch. She tried to sit on a sofa, but it was the hardest thing she’d ever sat on, so she stayed standing while Marceline left the room. The vampire came back a few moments later with a small pouch, saying, “This has all of what you need. Bonnibel can get you more when you need them--she’s how I get mine. I stockpile them.” 

“Thanks, Marceline,” Betty said, slipping the pouch into her pack. “You wouldn’t happen to have a few ponytail holders to spare?” 

“Yeah, I stockpile those, too. I’ll be back in a mo.” 

She hovered away and returned with a package of ponytail holders and berets, which Betty pocketed. 

“Anything else you want to steal?” 

“Hah, no, but thanks.” 

Betty left with Matt, headed back to the windmill, where she changed undies and put on the pad, then changing into her pj’s. What a relief. 

She sat down on the bed, a pencil and the list in hand, and examined her options. 

That amulet hadn’t been too easy to obtain--she tried to image what the hard ones were like. They were probably actually divided into “how many monsters to defeat” instead of true ease. Betty wished that she’d asked Marceline where she found the amulet. It was probably past the bats, and since she was a vampire, she could probably command the bats to let her through, or something. 

After a moment of contemplation, Betty crossed out the amulet and put a star by the enchanted ring that let its user talk to plants. It could be found, guarded by a large bird in what appeared to be a desert, according to the map. 

“Tomorrow,” Betty told Matt, patting him gently, “we’re going to the Jagged Edge. Sleep tight...if you even _do_ sleep.” 

She took the pill that Doctor Princess told her to take before she pulled the blanket up over her shoulders to lay down, turning off the lamp light. The windmill was so quiet, and Betty quickly went to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Action! Betty also starts to become a regular at the hospital.   
> Playlist update: "Unbreakable" by Fireflight.

Betty woke up from a dream where she was in Middle School again, and she was walking down the hallway with her friend, Bradey, both of them holding a huge pillow together. She saw the old bully, Katrina, walking down the hallway past them, carrying the pillow that Betty and Bradey were holding. Betty looked down, and the pillow was gone, so she exclaimed to Bradey, “Look, that blonde girl took our pillow!”

“What pillow?” 

“Our pillow!” 

“We had a pillow?” 

“Yeah, you saw the blonde girl take it, didn’t you?” 

He looked down the hallway, staring right at Katrina as she left, and said, “No, I don’t see a blonde girl.” 

“Oh.” The disappointment woke Betty up, and she rubbed her eyes and pondered why she had to have such weird dreams. 

She climbed out of bed and did her morning routine. Getting dressed, hair in a ponytail, wearing her hooded robe, she put on her goggles and gauntlets to examine the map again. Betty was going to find that enchanted ring at Jagged Edge that day. She quickly called Finn to tell him, “I’ll be at Jagged Edge today--I should call you later on today, and if I don’t, come get me from there. Thanks, Finn. Bye.” 

Betty hopped on Matt and said, “Take me to Jagged Edge, please.” The rug took off, and she added, “Thanks, Matt.” 

The landscape flashed down below Betty, the wind assaulting her face. Soon, a desert shaped out before her, and she was glad that she brought bottled water with her. A large canyon was visible, and Betty figured that it was where the bird was nesting with the ring. 

“Find the ring, Matt,” Betty said. The rug swooped down toward the canyon, the air whistling in Betty’s ears. She glanced down at the sand below her, and noticed a shadow creeping toward Matt’s shadow. 

“Huh?” Betty asked, looking over her shoulder. What she saw made her stomach drop. 

A huge, two-headed vulture-like bird was flying toward Betty and Matt rapidly, large wings flapping up and down. Gulping, Betty tried to reassure Matt by saying, “Don’t worry, vultures are carrion-eaters--they eat things that are already dead…” 

The bird screeched, throwing its large talons forward, and swooped toward them. Betty shrieked, “We’re carrion we’re carrion! Dive _dive_!” 

Matt dropped to skid along the ground, the talons snapping shut above them. Betty clutched Matt’s fabric, shouting, “To the right! Right!” 

Veering to the left, the rug displayed that it still didn’t have a proper sense of direction. Betty shrieked in frustration and shouted, “The other right! THE OTHER RIGHT!” 

They veered back to the right, the talons snapping shut where they had been a second go, scraping up a cloud of dust. The sand flew into the vulture’s eyes, making it squawk and fly up for a moment. Betty gasped, smiling, sure that she knew how to best the bird. She thrust her hand into the pack, fishing around for her wand. Her gloved hand grasped the wooden shaft, and she ripped it out triumphantly, shouting, “AHA!” 

She threw her hand back, pointing behind her, to where the bird was catching up again. Betty pointed at the ground, commanding the sand. An explosion burst out of the ground, spewing sand into the vulture’s eyes. It screeched, falling back again. Betty smiled giddily, spinning the wand in rapid circles, causing a tornado of sand to circulate, blinding the bird. 

“Into the canyon, Matt!” Betty shouted. The rug dove down into the canyon, Betty adding, “Find the nest where the ring is! Don’t fail me now!” 

Matt swerved to and fro, from side to side of the weaving canyon, the bird shrieking and diving in after them. Betty turned around to sit backwards on her rug, pointing at the bird with the wand. She swung it left and right rapidly, the two heads smacking into each other repeatedly. 

“HAH!” Betty shouted, pointing with her left hand, “You big LUMP can’t take ME ON!” 

_WHACK!_

A branch sticking out of the rock wall collided with Betty’s back, sending her flying off of Matt. She shrieked as she plummeted toward the winding river below. A few feet before she smacked the water, a talon scooped her up, squeezing her torso, and yanked her away, screaming, into the air. 

“MATT!” Betty swung her left fist over her right shoulder, punching the bird in the ankle roughly. Blue waves exploded from the fist upon impact, and the bird let out a loud squawk of pain, letting Betty go. She pointed at the ground with her wand, causing the ground to jump up and form a slide, smacking her, and resulted in her sliding down it. Sand and dirt filled her pants and shirt, and Betty began to flop around sideways, backpack causing her to bump up and down with every roll. 

Appearing right under her, Matt caught her before she rolled off of the dirt-slide and soared into the air, the bird chomping at them with one of its black beaks. 

The rug began to fly up, toward the top of the canyon--probably retreating--when Betty noticed an overhang in the canyon face, a large nest made of uprooted trees and metal beams sitting half in a cave and half out on the overhang. 

Betty pulled on Matt, directing him to the nest, and shouted, “That’s it! Drop me there, I’ll grab the ring, jump out, and you catch me before I hit the ground! Like we’ve rehearsed a bunch!” 

Matt flew over the nest and dumped Betty over his side. She crashed through the branches and roots roughly, clothes and backpack tearing and ripping, cuts opening on her arms and legs. A branch smacking Betty’s cheek caused a gash to open, making her squeeze her eyes shut and wince. She smacked the bottom of the nest roughly, knocking the breath out of her. 

Body aching, Betty pushed herself up into a sitting position and began to scramble around for the ring. Behind her, she heard breathing. 

Slowly, Betty turned around, looking over to see three small two-headed birds lying there, heads tucked under their tiny, fluffy wings. 

_Hatchlings!_ Betty thought fearfully. She had to be sure not to wake them--they were as big as she was, and would surely alert the parent bird of her presence. 

Carefully, Betty looked around for the ring. Then, she saw it, on the claws of one of the birds. She wondered if it could talk to plants while it wore it, or if that was only a humanoid trait. 

She crept over to the bird, reaching toward the talon. She didn’t take her eyes off of the bird as she tried to slip the ring off of its talons, which were as big as her hands. 

Quickly, she yanked the ring off of its foot--causing it to purr and pull one head out, opening its beady eyes slowly. It saw Betty and began to yawn. Then, when it saw the ring in her hand, it let out an inhuman shriek, its other head popping up, and the other babies’ heads popping up to shriek alongside it. 

Betty thrust the ring into her pocket and covered her ears, backing away as quickly as she could. The one moved faster than Betty expected, and its talons lunged for her face. She hopped back, but not fast enough--a claw broke through the lense, glass shattering, and Betty lost sight in that eye. 

“Glob! My eye!” she screamed, stumbling back. Hurrying, she turned and ignored the pain to run to the edge of the nest. The birds squawked, and the mother’s talons broke through the roof and ripped it off, hot sunlight suddenly cast down onto Betty. She squeezed out between two trees and leapt over the side of the cliff, pain throbbing through her face and skull. 

“MATT!” she screamed again, praying that her rug would be there to catch her again. 

She hit a soft fabric, birds screeching in front of her face, and feld the wind assault her butt--she was backwards. 

Betty felt Matt pull up and fly out, the bird following them. Betty clutched the fabric, body shaking, and tried to ignore the pain that was spreading to her whole body, acting like needles--focusing on hoping that the bird wouldn’t catch them. 

Soon, the shrieking faded, and the wind became cooler. Betty sighed shakily, loosening her knuckles, and murmured, “Matt, take me home. I have to call Finn and tell him I’m okay.” 

Her wand was still in her right hand, and she was thankful--she managed to keep a tight grip on it. 

Moments later, the rug entered the windmill--Betty figured that Matt had some power that could open and close doors--and set her down on her bed in a sitting position. Betty mumbled thanks and pried open her right eye, looking to her left to see the phone. She dialed Finn’s number and put the phone to her ear, saying, “It’s me, Betty. Yeah, I’m back. I’m good. Just...tired. I hurt my eye.” Betty lifted up her left hand and shook the gauntlet off to feel for the goggle lense. She felt a prick as she touched sharp glass. “Oh, glob,” she murmured. 

“What was that?” Finn asked. 

“Nothing. I’ll go to the doctor when we hang up.” 

“Should I hang up now? You know, to let you go?” 

“It’s okay. I got the ring.” 

“The ring that communicates with plants?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Cool. Well, I, uh, gotta go. Jake’s yelling at me.” “ _No I’m not!_ ” “Heh heh...hurry to the doc’s, okay?” 

“Okay. Bye.” 

Betty hung up before Finn could say bye. She took off her backpack, shakily got to her feet, and went over to Matt. She crawled onto him, mumbling, “Take me to the hospital. I hope this doesn’t become a regular thing.” 

_I also hope that my eye isn’t doomed,_ thought Betty. Matt flew her out of the windmill, and Betty heard the familiar voices below. She’d probably have to spend time with them...those childlike creatures. 

Matt alighted at the hospital, and Betty walked into the ER, hearing and seeing people panic and gasp, running around, a few rushing to her to ask, “You need help? Oh grod, what happened?” 

“I need someone to look at my eye. Please.” The pain was overwhelming, Betty’s legs tired. She sighed and sat down on the floor, feeling something warm run down her left cheek and drip onto her shirt. She looked down and saw that it was dark red. _Oh glob._


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty gets a friend.  
> Playlist update: "Dark Doo Wop" by MS MR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry for the recent chapters being short--especially the last one. I thank you for tolerating this and for enjoying this and leaving me feedback--I really appreciate it.

Betty was numb on the left side of her face, but she didn’t mind. She had a slushie to make her feel better--and to numb the inside of her mouth as well. Placidly, she sat on the edge of a hospital bed, sipping the slushie.

Her lips planted firmly around the straw, Betty passionately sucked the grape-flavored crushed ice into her mouth. It had been forever since she’d had a good slushie. Her arms and legs were a little sore from where they were cut, but now they were cleansed and under bandages, so they felt considerably better. 

Halfway through the slushie, a doctor entered, asking, “How are you feeling?” 

“Good,” Betty said, nodding. The doctor entered to her left, so she had to turn her head to the left--her nose was in the way, and with the eye patch on her left eye, she could only see with the right eye. 

“That’s good. I hope that you won’t become a regular here.” 

“I sure don’t plan on it--can I go now?” 

The doctor looked down at his clipboard, then reluctantly said, “I suppose so. I think you should spend seven days resting--allow your wounds to heal, and don’t take off the bandages until then.” 

“Seven days, got it. Now, may I go?” 

“Yes.” 

“Thanks for the slushie.” 

Betty rose to her feet and wobbly made her way past the doctor and into the hallway. She entered the waiting room, where she was greeted by Matt. Betty smiled, gently rubbing Matt, and commented on her torn clothes, “I’ll have to get a new pair of clothes. Maybe leather. We should go get the non-magical artifacts from the windmill and trade them at that marketplace.” 

Matt flew around Betty to tackle her from behind, knocking her into a sitting position on him, and headed out of the hospital and into the air. Betty clutched her slushie, in a bit of a daze, and slurped on it. 

“I’ll get better in seven days,” Betty told Matt. “My eye will get better, too--but this bandage patch will have to stay on for the whole seven days. I should’ve just kept the glasses under the goggles, since goggle lenses can protect against shrapnel at the face, while prescription lenses can’t. Oh well. I’ll have to go find new glasses, I guess. I kinda liked those. Simon picked them out.” 

Betty rambled on all the way to the windmill, head becoming foggy. The painkillers must’ve started kicking in full swing, beyond just numbing her. “I’ll go sleep some get,” Betty said, setting the half-finished slushie down on the night stand, and flopped down onto her bed. Matt planted himself by the foot of the bed, waiting patiently for a command from Betty. 

Betty awoke the next day to a loud knock at the door. She groaned, prying her eye open, and stumbled off of the bed, torn clothes wrinkly. 

“Who is it?” 

“It’s Finn!” “And Jake!” 

She headed to the door and opened it, sunlight assaulting her face. She squinted and leaned back, groaning, and said, “Man, my head hurts. What’re you guys here for?” 

“We’re holding an intervention,” Jake said. 

“For what?” 

“For you,” Finn said. “You’ve been, like, beating yourself up. It’s only been a week and you were in the hospital twice.” 

Betty nodded and said, “I’m getting the hang of it, now--the hospital shouldn’t see me for about a month, or something.” 

“You’re wearing an eye patch, Betty,” Jake said. 

“It’s a bandaid. In six days, the eye will be better--the doc said.” 

Finn placed his hands on his hips and pursed his lips, lifting up a hand to point at her as he said in a forcefully deep voice, “We’re concerned for your well being, Betty. Like maybe we shouldn’t have given you that list.” 

“Bull junk!” Betty exclaimed. She covered her mouth and whispered, “Sorry for the language” before saying louder, “I got two of the nine artifacts! If I can get one every day, then I can get them all in a week, and get Simon back by about two! I already have to wait a week to get better, so I should be able to get Simon back in a month or so! Giving me the list was the best thing you could’ve done for me--and for Simon!” 

Jake nodded, saying, “We still don’t feel like you can do this on your own. Maybe you should, um, get a companion or something. A magical person, maybe.” 

Finn brightened up and said, “Yeah! You should get a wizard friend!” 

“I can’t force friendship, guys. It doesn’t work that way.” 

“Never mind that, you’re coming with us!” Jake said, pointing around Betty and to Matt, and said, “You ride the rug and follow Finn and Jake! We’re taking you to Wizard City!” 

Betty shook her head and said, “I need to change, guys. Look at me--I’m dressed like a refugee. No, not refugee, a...uh...whatever. I look ratchet. I’m changing, so wait out here.” 

She closed the door in their faces, heading to the restroom to change. She changed and saw herself in the mirror for the first time since the bird attack the day before. Her goggles were still on, but the left lense was completely gone, the glass knocked out. The bandage was under it, hiding Betty’s eye, and with the fact that it was her skin color made it look like she had no eye there at all--not even an eye socket. Spooky. 

Betty decided to wear her robe, even though it had the tears in it, but redid her hair--she made the ponytail sit higher on her head. She put on her gauntlets and grabbed her wand. 

“Come on, Matt,” she said, hopping onto her rug. She flew out of the windmill to hover by Finn and Jake, stomach beginning to rumble, and she said, “We should eat first. I’m totes hungry.” 

“Uh…” 

“Okay apparently my language is weird. I’m very hungry. I didn’t eat yesterday. Does the wizard city have a fast food place, perchance?” 

Jake said, “No, but Finn has snacks in his backpack.” 

“Are granola bars good?” Finn asked, pulling some out. Betty nodded and took one from Finn. She peeled the wrapper open and ate it quickly, saying, “Okay, thanks, let’s go find me a wizard.” 

They flew to the city, Betty realizing that it was where Bella Noche had been when she defeated him. She turned to Jake and Finn--Jake having morphed wings--and she asked Finn, “Hey, isn’t this place wizards only?” 

“Yeah, that’s why we can’t enter, but we’ve got a recording of Ice King--Simon--saying the password, so they’ll let you in. You can pass for a wizard with your wand, robe, and carpet.” 

Betty looked down at herself and Matt, saying, “I’ve named my rug Matt. His name is Matt.” 

Jake glanced at her, asking, “Is that a pun?” 

“That was the initial intent, yes.” 

They all slowed to stop in front of the city. Finn pulled out a tape recorder and pushed play, fast-forwarding a bit, then clicked play again. “Wizards Rule!” was shouted out in Ice King’s voice, but then Finn promptly shut it off before any more could be said. He looked very uncomfortable. 

In front of them, the large rock wall changed into an entrance into the city. Betty turned to Finn and Jake and asked, “I’m going in alone?” 

“Yeah, they recognize us from another time,” Jake said, “but they probably won’t remember you from that time with Bella Noche. Just go in and make friends with wizards.” 

“And try to keep my muggleness a secret?” 

“What’s that?” Finn asked. 

“Nothing, guys. Nothing at all. Ciao, auf wiedersehen, adios, shalon, aloha, uh...bye. I’ll be back.” 

Matt moved forward to enter the city, which looked a little dilapidated on the inside. Some buildings were in ruins, and black remains of Bella Noche were still visible here and there. 

Betty kept her hood down and face fairly low, being careful to not call too much attention to herself. The buildings that _were_ intact were weird and had symbols on their signs. A lot were fairly similar--how did wizards not get confused to which was which? Was it a magical thing? She hoped not--her needing to read one of those signs and failing, for lacking magic, would get her revealed to be non-wizard. 

“Hey, I know you,” a female voice said to Betty’s left. She sharply turned to look for the speaker, seeing a turquoise-skinned woman with leaves for hair, branches for antlers, and a black mask over her upper face, like a superhero. 

Eye widening, Betty asked as calmly as she could, “You do?” 

“Yeah, you’re that woman with Ice King who defeated Bella Noche...and, you’re not a wizard.” 

Fearfully, Betty looked side to side quickly, to make sure no one was around to hear this, and she whispered, “Shhh, please don’t say that! Okay, yes, I’m not supposed to be here.” She gulped, turning back to the wizard, a pleading look on her face, and she repeated, “Please.” 

The wizard, leaning against a wall, arms folded, curtly nodded before saying, “Fine. I won’t--if you don’t tell me who you are, and what you’re doing here again.” 

Betty climbed off of Matt, approaching the wizard to say softly, “I’m Betty Grof the Human. I came to Wizard City to meet wizards.” 

“That’s not everything.” 

“Yes, it is.” 

“No, it isn’t. I can tell.” 

“You can’t tell anything, you don’t know me.” Betty crossed her arms, narrowing her right eye at the wizard. 

The wizard was silent for a moment before she said, “I’m Huntress Wizard. Now, tell me, what were you doing with Ice King? No one spends time with him willingly.” 

“I was saving his life--he needed magic to stay alive, so I decided to save him.” 

“That can’t be it--at least, not all of it. If you knew Ice King like everyone else, I bet you would’ve just apologized and said, ‘I can’t do anything, man.’ I know we all would’ve.” 

Betty hated hearing that--these wizards wouldn’t help another wizard in a time of crisis. She huffed, crinkling her nose, and said, “Clearly, I lack a wizard’s apathy.” 

Huntress Wizard stood up straight, no longer leaning on her quiver, and she said, “Clearly, that is the case.” 

“Clearly.” 

“I was being sarcastic.” 

“So was I.” Betty smiled at the wizard, who faintly smiled back. 

“Why are you trying to befriend wizards?” 

Betty glanced at Matt to make sure that he didn’t wander off. She pat him reassuringly, telling Huntress Wizard, “I’m not magical. I can use magical things, but I’m not cut out for what I want to do. A wizard can help me, though.” 

“What do you want to do?” 

Plopping down on Matt, Betty sighed. She didn’t know if she could tell this wizard. She just met her, but the wizard didn’t seem to bad so far--she hadn’t blown the whistle on Betty’s lie. After a moment, Betty said, “I want to get nine magical artifacts that grant magic powers to whoever wears them. I have two--one has the power of invisibility, one has the power of plant-talking, and the rest are even more powerful. The power of fire, the power of water, the power of flight...those things.” 

Huntress Wizard nodded, smiling a bit, and said, “I see. You wish to become a wizard.” 

Betty furrowed her eyebrows together before asking, “Huh?” 

“Magical artifacts turn the wearers into wizards. You saved Ice King so you could get a wizard on your side to help you become a _greater_ wizard.” 

“That’s uh…” Betty didn’t want the wizard to feel like she had competition in Betty--competing for strongest wizard. 

“That’s brilliant, Betty Grof the Human.” 

Surprised, Betty stayed silent. She glanced side to side, and asked nervously, “So, um, could you repeat yourself?” 

“Did you like being complimented? I called you brilliant. You’ve done what none of us would’ve done while we were humans--figured out how to get the best powers.” Huntress Wizard smiled in her small way, looking at Betty with interest, and said, “I admire you, and I will help you.” 

Betty couldn’t resist a large smile. “Really?” 

“Yes.” 

Jumping up and down a bit, Betty asked, “Okay, so, how is this going to work?” 

Huntress Wizard tilted her head a bit, asking, “How will what work?” 

“How will you help me? How will we communicate, you know...the important stuff? How will it be managed?” 

Tilting her head to the side in a bit of a nod, Huntress Wizard informed Betty, “I live not too far from here. It's in walking distance--I’ll show you. You can come to my place whenever you feel the need for my assistance.” 

“Thanks, that’ll be a _lot_. In six days, though--I need to rest for six days, my doc said. I hurt my eye. And my body.” 

“I can see that.” 

Huntress Wizard began to walk toward the entrance of Wizard City. Betty hopped on Matt and matched her pace, saying, “Um, Huntress Wizard, there will probably be two non-wizards out front, waiting for me. They helped me get in this time.” 

“How?” 

“They told me they knew someone who got in once but got punished for it. They said they’d wait for me, in case I got caught and needed a quick escape--they’d help me escape.” 

“Nice.” 

Betty hoped that Finn and Jake wouldn’t do anything to counter her fib--they seemed like the kind to either do really well at staying inconspicuous and chill, or really _bad_ at it. 

They left the city to find Finn and Jake playing cards a bit of a distance away. Betty waved at them and called out, “I found a wizard, guys. She’s taking me to her place. See you, like, some other time. Bye.” 

Huntress Wizard hopped onto Matt, nudging Betty over a bit--but in a polite way--and said, “Take me to Undertree.” 

Matt flew up into the air and toward a forested area. He alighted in the center, shadows cast by the trees. Huntress Wizard hopped off and headed to a very large tree stump--jagged and splintered, as if the top was ripped off, instead of cut--and waved her right hand at it. A door appeared on it, and she looked over her shoulder to tell Betty, “Only I can open my home willingly. It responds only to me--so, when you become a wizard, you still won’t be able to enter, even with your new powers. You’ll need me.” 

“Okay, thanks,” Betty said, wondering why Huntress Wizard assumed that she would still want to enter her home. Maybe she planned on becoming friends? 

Betty reached into her pocket, pulling out her wand, and she asked Huntress Wizard, “Hey, why doesn’t this wand grant me the race of wizard?” 

“It’s not an artifact of magic, it’s a tool of magic. Tools are made from artifacts.” 

“What makes the artifacts?” 

“Powerful wizards. Come on, follow me.” 

Huntress Wizard opened the door and descended down some stairs. Betty followed, Matt following _her_ , and she flinched when the door slammed shut behind her. 

Soon, the stairs ended, and a small living space opened up in front of them. It reminded Betty of an apartment--it was a living room, with a kitchenette connected to it, a room to the side, and down a very short hallway, the bathroom was visible. 

Betty turned to look at Huntress Wizard, saying, “Your home is very humble.” 

“Yes, it is,” the wizard said. She went over to sit on a small futon-like furnishing, picking up a book and reading it. 

Glancing from side to side, Betty asked, “Um, what should I do?” 

The wizard was silent. She read slowly and decisively, eyes scanning the yellowed pages. After a few minutes of Betty just standing--she was about to sit on Matt for the wait--Huntress Wizard stood up, putting a forefinger on the page, and went over to Betty. She had a sentence above her finger, and she said, “Here. This spell can be spoken by both wizards and non-wizards, and it works for communication. You chant this, and the name of the person you wish to speak to, and it’ll allow communication between the two of you.” 

“Cool,” Betty said, looking at the words. They said Vendhem Lielos Park. Betty said aloud, “Vendhem Lielos Park...um, Finn the Human.” A gray orb of smoke formed in front of Betty’s face, and Finn’s face became visible in it. He looked surprised, and he said, “Whoa, Jake, look at this!” “I’m looking! What do you think it is?” 

“Hey, guys! I see you’re still waiting in front of the city for me,” Betty exclaimed. They noticed her, and Betty said, “The wizard I left with showed me how to do this. This is like a phone for wizards--isn’t it cool?” 

“Yeah!” Finn said. “Are you going to teach us how to do this?” 

“Probably not,” Betty said, smiling, and glanced at the book. To end it, what must be said was Vendhem Lielos Bard. “Vendhem Lielos Bard.” 

The smoke went away, and Betty saw Huntress Wizard standing where it had been. Betty smiled and said, “Thanks, Huntress Wizard. I appreciate the help.” 

Huntress Wizard nodded and said, “You’re welcome. So, how did befriending Ice King end?” 

Confused, Betty asked, “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You saved his life to get him on your side--you told me that. How’d it work?” 

Realizing what Huntress Wizard meant, Betty nodded and said, “Okay, that. It didn’t work out. He had no memory of me when he came to, so he wasn’t in the least grateful.” 

Huntress Wizard tilted her head, saying, “Grand Master Wizard told him about you. He still didn’t seem grateful?” 

“He didn’t think it was me,” Betty falsely confessed. “He thought I was just someone who wanted to take claim of helping him. None of the wizards who saw me were around to confirm that it was me, since I had gone to his kingdom, so he had to take my word. He didn’t.” 

“Bummer.” Huntress Wizard reached into her pocket and pulled out a bag of trail-mix, saying, “I don’t like these. Another wizard gave them to me because _she_ didn’t like these. Do you?” 

Smiling and nodding, Betty took the trail-mix and said, “I _love_ trail-mix! My fiance loved it more, though.” She shoved some into her mouth, saying through the food, “He would put anything together and call it trail-mix. Marshmallows, M-and-M’s, chocolate chips, cereals, popcorn, nuts, and he’d bring whipped topping with him to squirt into his mouth along with the mix.” 

Huntress Wizard tilted her head, asking, “You have a fiance?” 

Betty froze mid-chew, trying to think of what to say. She can’t reveal that Ice King was actually her fiance. “Uh, well, I did. He’s...not my fiance anymore.” 

“Had a falling out?” 

She remembered Simon flipping out and chasing her out of their home, shooting bolts of snow and ice from his hands, screaming at her. That would count. “Yeah.” 

“Is that why you want to be a wizard? To impress him?” 

“Yeah...for him.” 

Huntress Wizard shook her head, leafy hair swaying a bit, saying, “No way. You don’t change yourself for a guy. If he can’t love you for you, then he’s no good.” 

Betty nodded, glad that someone agreed with her--and Simon; he always stood by that mantra--and she said, “I know that. I was thinking of becoming a wizard before, which he trampled on a lot. Now that he’s gone, I’d like to show him what I can be--a powerful wizard.” 

The wizard seemed to approve, nodding back, and said, “Okay. I accept that. Well, there’s nothing much to do. You said that you had to wait a couple days to get better--just go, and when you need me, call me, and we’ll go get the artifacts together.” 

“Thanks, Huntress,” Betty said, shaking the wizard’s hand. Betty ate another handful of trail-mix and hopped onto the rug, saying, “Matt, take me home. It’s about time for dinner.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gunter makes an appearance and acts truly evil. Huntress Wizard does Betty's evil bidding. Return of the gender neutral pronouns.  
> Playlist update: "End of All Things" by P!ATD

“I guess that getting a wizard friend wasn’t as hard as you thought?” Jake asked over the phone.

“Yeah, she was pretty cool,” Betty confessed. “It isn’t so much a friendship yet as a partnership. She wants to help me get the artifacts so I can become a powerful wizard.” 

“Why?” 

“She thinks that it’s a brilliant idea, and I deserve the help since I came up with it,” Betty said. “She actually came up with it, but I went along with it. Good thing I did, too.” 

“Nice. Well, I gotta go. Wait--Finn and I wanna know. How is your eye doing?” 

“Swell,” Betty said. “A couple more days, and it should be good. Good as gold. Right as rain. Nice as...rice? I dunno, but my eye should be better by then. I’ll call you and Finn when that happens. I’ll let you go--bye. Thanks for checking up on me.” 

“No problem.” 

They hung up, and Betty looked at the two artifacts to her left, sitting on the bedside table, next to the phone and lamp. She picked them up and put them into the drawer, telling Matt, “If anyone breaks in, they won’t steal these if they can’t see them. Okay, I know they’d go looking around for things, that’s why I’m leaving the non-magical items in obvious places, so they might get distracted from the normal loot and take it, leaving behind my for-Simon-stash.” 

Betty hopped on Matt, saying, “Let’s go to the marketplace and get a leather jacket. Stop me from getting the bloody-wuddies.” 

The two of them headed out of the windmill, about to go to the marketplace, when something bumped into Matt. Matt stopped flying, and Betty bent over the side to see what was under her rug. 

A penguin was there, looking up at Betty with large eyes, a purple-pink cat taped to its back. Betty leaned back a bit, asking, “Gunter?” 

“Wenk,” the penguin said. 

“It’s you!” Betty bent over the edge again and grabbed Gunter by the sides, hoisting zir up and setting zir down on Matt. After a moment, she picked Gunter back up, looking at the private parts area, and she asked, “Are you a boy or a girl, Gunter?” 

Gunter wenked, and Betty sighed, saying, “Whatever. I don’t know what penguin reproductive organs look like. Now, what’re you doing here? Won’t Simon be looking for you?” 

“Wenk,” Gunter said as Betty set zir down. The kitten on the back looked to be asleep, feet curling up toward its belly in a bit of a fetal position. Betty smiled, slapping her cheek softly, and lamented on how cute it was. 

Betty looked around for Ice King, but he was nowhere in sight. She patted Gunter’s head, saying, “I guess you’ll come with me to the marketplace. Then, I’ll take you back to the Ice Kingdom. This shouldn’t take too long, okay?” 

Matt took off, headed out for the marketplace. Betty hoped that a quest wouldn’t be required for a jacket. She brought along a bag of candy that PB had given her, and hoped that it would be sufficient trade. 

They slowed down in the marketplace. Betty hopped off and made sure that Matt--carrying Gunter and the kitten--was following close behind. She came to someone selling clothing and asked, “Got any leather jackets?” 

“For a price--what do you have?” 

“Candy,” Betty said, reaching into her pack and pulling out the bag of sweets. She didn’t like the type of candies in the bag--they were the sour-then-sweet kind--and handed it to the vendor. The vendor looked at it for a moment, then handed Betty a leather jacket that fit like a glove. 

“Thanks,” Betty said, putting it on under her robe. She was climbing onto Matt when Gunter said, “Wenk” and Matt lifted a bit higher into the air, about to fly off. Betty gasped, trying to stop Matt by saying another command, but her tongue got tangled and she could only stutter as Matt took off into the air. 

She grabbed Gunter and turned zir around to look into zir eyes, asking loudly, “What did you say?” 

“Wenk.” 

“I know you said ‘wenk’ but...Ugh! Matt, stop this instance!” 

Matt kept heading into the direction that Gunter specified. Ahead, Betty could see mountains of ice rising out of the horizon. She stiffened, saying, “The Ice Kingdom? Gunter, I told you that I’d take you to the Ice Kingdom when I was done. You impatient little penguin, you scared the junk outta me!” 

They glided into Ice King’s cave. Betty picked Gunter up and set zir down on the icy floor, hearing Ice King’s voice from another room, asking, “Hey, who’s there?” 

“Matt,” Betty whispered, “take us home, quickly!” 

Before the Ice King could come out to see who was there with Gunter, Matt had zoomed out of the kingdom and was already halfway to the windmill. Once there--Betty’s face stinging from the wind hitting it so hard, thanks to Matt’s intense speed--Betty put on her pajamas and sat on the bed, looking over the map and the list. In only a few more days, Betty would be able to go out with Huntress Wizard to find the last seven artifacts. And, with a wizard to help, they together might be able to get two or more a day. 

Betty could see the sun setting through the curtains, and she said, “Okay, Matt, it’s time to get some sleep. The sooner to sleep, the sooner to wake, and the sooner to wake, the sooner to sleep, the sooner for my week-long healing period to be over so I can save Simon.” 

She curled up under the blanket and willed all the thoughts in her mind to go away. Soon, she fell asleep. 

*** 

Cold air awoke Betty slowly, making her squint her eye open to stare into the darkness. She grumbled, feeling cold air slithering into her blanket. Clenching her eye shut tighter, she rolled over and squirmed deeper into the blanket, thinking that she should go get a heater the next day, if winter was coming. Or at least a second blanket, so the cold wouldn’t wake her up again. 

Betty was about to drift into sleep again, over halfway there, when she heard a familiar wenk to her side, 

Her eye popped open, darting around in the darkness to see if she had only imagined hearing Gunter, or if zie was really there. Sure enough, to the edge of her peripheral vision, Betty could see Gunter moving. She groggily reached for her goggles, whispering in a slurred voice, “Gunter, get out of my house…” 

Her hands hit empty air where her goggles would sit on her headboard. Then, as her eye adjusted to the darkness, she saw that it wasn’t the windmill. She sat up quickly, eye widening, and she observed with a gulp that this was where Simon was now living. 

“Gunter…” she whispered, “You didn’t...did you…” She saw that she was sitting on Matt, and, upon turning around, she was sitting at the foot of a bed, Ice King lying down there. Her face became red with embarrassment and anger in the darkness, and she whispered, “Ooh, you did! You little…” 

She looked down to Matt and whispered, “Take me home, Matt.” 

Matt moved to take off, but just jerked, unable to go anywhere. Betty looked to his side and saw that there was a rope tied at his corner, connecting him to the foot of Ice King’s bed. 

Hissing softly, Betty grabbed at the rope and tried to untie the knot. It was a double or triple knot, and it was done very tightly--Betty couldn’t fit her cold fingers into any of the crannies to untie it. She whispered, “You know, Gunter, for having no fingers, you’re really good at tying knots…” 

Betty fumbled in the dark, doing her best, but her best wasn’t good enough. Near the head of Ice King’s bed, Gunter climbed up to sit in front of his face. Betty stopped to stare at Gunter, making eye contact, and she whispered, “Don’t do it.” 

Gunter lifted a flipper. 

“Don’t.” 

The flipper went up a little higher. 

“Don’t you dare.” 

The flipper went even further back. Betty sucked in a deep breath of air and tried to rip the rope in half, unable to untie the knot. Gunter’s flipper smacked Ice King on the face in an aggressive slap. 

“OW!” Ice King exclaimed, jumping up in bed. Betty flopped over the side of Matt, rolling underneath him, and pulled him lower, to sit under the edge of the bed. Ice King growled, picking up Gunter, and said, “Gunter! Hitting people is wrong! Especially when they’re asleep!” 

“Wenk!” 

“Don’t give me that!” 

Betty tried to untie Matt from the start of the rope, on the leg of the bed, but that was double knotted as well. 

“Wenk!” 

“Gunter, be quiet! I’m trying to sleep!” Ice King laid back down, abruptly slapped again by Gunter. 

“Gunter!” 

“Wenk!” 

Betty grabbed the rope in desperation and shoved it into her mouth, grinding it between her molars. It tasted like raw fish, probably from Gunter’s flippers. 

“Gunter! Go sit in the corner!” 

“Wenk!” 

The rope tasted like it was fraying between Betty’s teeth. She hurried, shoving her jaw back and forth, up and down, and side to side. All of a sudden, there was a painful pop in that side of her jaw, and she grunted, letting the rope go, and planted her hand on the side of her face. She moved her jaw back up and relocated it, wincing in pain. 

“Now, listen here, Gunter, you need to let Daddy sleep! A good night’s sleep is the best for everybody--including you, Gunter! Now go to sleep!” 

Betty heard the loud sound of another slap. 

“Ooooh Gunter! That is _IT_!” 

She heard him getting to his feet, and she put the pedal to the metal in tearing up the rope. She put the rope on the other side of her mouth and hurried to chew it to bits, feeling some bits of the threadlike material floating around in her mouth, probably swallowing some. She didn’t care at the moment. If it gave her intestinal blockage later, it would still be worth it. If it gave her _diarrhea_ , though, not so much. 

The rope snapped within Betty’s mouth, and she silently cheered in her mind. She spat it out and watched Ice King walk past her and out of the room, presumably to set Gunter in a corner or something. Betty climbed onto Matt and whispered, “Take me home, and _never_ listen to Gunter again!” 

Matt rushed out of the ice cave, soaring right by Ice King. Betty gasped, ducking her head down low, and heard Ice King shout, “Hey, where’d _you_ come from?” 

Within moments, Matt slid into the windmill, bucking to toss Betty off of him and onto her bed, causing her to huff, head thumping the wall. 

“Ow,” she said, leaning back to rub her noggin. She sat up in bed, the air around her warmer than her skin--after being in that icy cave for probably a couple minutes, her body temperature must have sunk a bit. 

Betty turned to look at Matt, saying aggressively, “If you listen to Gunter again, I will weigh you down with a brick and use you for a welcome mat, Matt!” 

Silence was the only response that the rug could express. 

“A welcome _Matt_!” 

Continuous silence. 

“I know you’d be laughing while quivering in fear right about now.” Betty leaned forward and kissed Matt’s fabric, saying softly, “I still appreciate everything you do for me, buddy. You’re great.” 

She took her blanket off of Matt and wrapped herself up in it, still shivering a bit. It would be hard to get to sleep again, with her mind alert and heart racing, but she had to try. 

*** 

When Betty awoke, she was just glad that she got some sleep that night, regardless of the fact she was up before the sun was up all the way over the horizon. She put on a new pair of clothes and her leather jacket, putting on her goggles and boots, and told Matt, “Once I call Huntress Wizard, we’re going to go spend time with her. Get to know her. You know--that biz.” 

Betty gathered her things together into her pack, looking at the pickaxe that she snatched from the mine. It was probably a dumb thing to do by taking it, like she would ever use it, but at least it was there if it _was_ needed. 

Wiggling her hands in her gauntlets, Betty said, “Ohhh yeah, an eye patch, magic gloves, a magic wand, a robe, leather, some nice wounds on my arms and legs...I’m totes awesome.” She hopped onto Matt, saying, “Vendhem Lielos Park--Huntress Wizard.” 

The smoke appeared, and Huntress Wizard’s face formed out of it. She looked groggy, eyes heavy, and her mask was gone. She had really high cheekbones. 

“What?” Huntress asked in a slurred, sleepy voice. She groaned, peeling her eyes open wide, and she asked, “Why are you calling me? It’s too early.” 

Betty had forgotten about that, and she said, “Sorry, I just woke up and forgot to look out the window. I wanted to know if we could, you know, hang today. Discuss important things or something. I dunno.” 

Huntress sighed, looking to the side, and she said, “I haven’t finished my morning routine. Head my way and I’ll let you in. Vendhem Lielos Bard.” 

The smoke disappeared, and Betty patted Matt, saying, “Take me to Undertree. That’s what she called it, right?” 

Unable to answer, Matt just took off and headed to Huntress Wizard’s place. Betty yawned, as if _she_ had the right to be tired! Matt actually _did_ need sleep, but he was disturbed constantly that night, was flown around by a clearly evil penguin, tied up with a stinky rope to a stinky bed of a stinky man by the same evil penguin, was flown away while he panicked because he had to make sure to not be seen--he was anyway--and was then threatened to be reduced to a welcome mat by the woman who thought that giving him a punny name would be funny! Then, he had to stay up all night because his anxiety wouldn’t let him get some shuteye--life as a magic rug was horrible! He’d prefer to be a sculptor. 

They came to Huntress Wizard’s trunk, the door opening in front of them. Matt ascended, Betty clinging on drowsily. They waited in the living room for a moment until Huntress Wizard came out in the outfit she wore when they saw her. 

“Hey, Huntress,” Betty said, waving. Huntress Wizard, hand on her hip, curtly nodded and mumbled a greeting. 

Her eyelids drooped tiredly, and Matt was once again agitated that the two people who _rode_ him, not drove other people, were tired. His anger wouldn’t last long--once he was able to get some rest, he’d be mad at himself for being so harsh to them about something they couldn’t help. 

*** 

Gunter was extremely upset. Zie went through the trouble to find Betty, kidnap her, take her to Ice King’s room to be found, yet that wasn’t good enough! Gunter confided in zir kitten, sitting under Ice King’s recliner, and waited for him to wake up and do something. 

After a few minutes of Gunter complaining to the pinkish kitten, Ice King came out of his room in his tunic and crown, looking around, calling out, “Gunter? Gunter, where are you? We need to talk.” 

Grumbling, Gunter hugged zir kitten, wondering whether or not to reveal zirself. Finally, Gunter set the kitten down and left the chair, Ice King not seeing with his back to Gunter. Gunter wenked, flapping zir flippers. 

Ice King turned around, face brightening up, and he exclaimed, “Gunter! I knew you were here!” He picked Gunter up, asking, “Now, tell me about that woman that was in here last night. Did she sneak in?” 

Gunter shook zir head. 

“Did _you_ bring her here, Gunter?” Ice King’s eyes widened, imagining that prospect. 

Gunter nodded. 

“Gunter!” Ice King exclaimed happily, hugging the penguin, “I didn’t know that was why you hit me last night! I’m sorry, Gunter. Was she...was she a princess?” 

A moment of contemplation ended in Gunter nodding. Ice King hugged Gunter tighter, saying happily, “You’re the best, Gunter! Where is she? You know where she lives, don’t you? What kingdom is it? I haven’t seen her before--it must be far away, huh?” 

Nodding, Gunter resisted a smile. Zie had seen how happy brown-Ice King had been with that woman, and hoped that he could be happy again. Although Ice King never remembered it, he often held his items of the The Past Room and cried. Maybe having this “princess” would make him stop crying. 

It was quite some love Gunter was showing--evil, evil Gunter. Gunter was always disappointed and jealous when Ice King focused on princesses and not Gunter, but zie loved Ice King enough to sacrifice his devotion for his joy. 

Gunter was sure that zie was quite admirable in that noble decision. 

“Can you take me to her--that princess, I mean?” 

The penguin nodded, wenking, and pointed out the door. Ice King giggled gleefully, saying, “I’ll fly, and you point the way, okay?” 

Ice King flew out of the kingdom, Gunter pointing the way, a bit like “hot or cold”. Gunter told Ice King when he was hot by wenking loudly, and when he was cold by purring a bit. 

They came to Betty’s windmill, the little people freaking out and hiding indoors. Ice King laughed and said, “What a welcoming committee. They must be her subjects, I guess.” 

He set Gunter down and pointed to the windmill, asking, “Is _this_ where she lives? Geez, so much for a kingdom. No wonder I never found her before--I never thought a princess would live in a place like _this_!” 

Ice King knocked, saying loudly, “Hello, princess! I live in that kingdom my penguin took you to last night--I came by to say hi and that I apologize for any rudeness...um, princess?” 

Opening the door, he entered the windmill and looked around. Wow, this must be some humble princess--nothing looked royal in that place! Gunter followed him in, and he shut the door, saying, “Gunter, breaking and entering is wrong. That’s why we won’t break anything! Isn’t that right, Gunter?” 

He picked Gunter up and sat down at the foot of the princess’s bed, swinging his legs back and forth like a kid, and he said, “We’ll just wait right here until she comes back. Finn and Jake can’t yell at me for kidnapping her, when I’m just _waiting_ for her. Well, I guess _you_ kidnapped her. But at least they’d yell at you and not me for onces.” 

Ice King smiled, saying, “Ah, I love those guys. They’re great friends, like you, Gunter!” 

Gunter wenked as a sigh, wishing that zie had brought the kitten with, so zie would be with the two most important people zie held dear. Zie snuggled into Ice King’s beard, smiling, and relaxed. 

*** 

Huntress Wizard pointed to Betty’s pickaxe, saying, “You can turn that into a tool of magic if you want. Find a type of magic you want and put it in, and it’ll be like that. Make it into an ice pickaxe, or a pickaxe of invisibility...possibilities are endless. If we go to Wizard City, we can get supplies to make them tools. 

“I’ll let you do that,” Betty told the wizard. “I’d prefer not to take my chances. Could you just go get the supplies while I wait?” 

The wizard thought for a moment, then said, “I suppose so. Tell me what magic you’d like to infuse into your possessions, and I’ll make a list.” 

Huntress Wizard wrote down what Betty told her--shapeshifting at will, hammerspace, throw-and-return ability, a very large impenetrable bubble of protection, and, as a joke, antimagic. Only, Huntress didn’t know it was a joke. She wrote it down, glancing up at Betty nervously, and she asked, “You won’t use that antimagic against wizards, will you?” 

She was afraid that Betty planned to become the most powerful wizard, use antimagic to absorb every other wizard’s power, and enslave them, like Bella Noche could’ve done. With a twitch of worry, Huntress thought that maybe Bella Noche had changed forms with the _real_ Betty and would trick Huntress into giving him all that power. 

Betty laughed and said, “No, silly! If a magical two-headed bird tries to attack me, the antimagic will turn it into a pigeon, or something harmless! And, if I become possessed by some magic or something, you can use that antimagic to take the possession away. Get it?” 

Huntress nodded, relieved, and said, “Okay.” Betty hadn’t given any inclination of it being a joke--Huntress couldn’t detect sarcasm too well. 

The wizard headed off to Wizard City by using a teleportation spell that only wizards could use. She said the password and entered the city, heading to Ron James’ place. He had the best spells for tooling objects. 

“Ron James,” Huntress said, entering his store. She examined the list again, saying, “I need tooling spells.” 

The potion master leaned over the counter, asking, “What kind and how many?” 

“One for shapeshifting at will, one for throw-and-return ability, one for a large impenetrable shield, hammerspace, and antimagic.” 

Ron James laughed, then saw that Huntress was serious--having no clue that Betty herself wasn’t--and asked nervously, “You want antimagic? You’re not an antimagical being--you wouldn’t be able to use it if you tooled it, anyway.” 

“I know. I’m getting these for someone. Now, give me the potions. I can pay.” 

The potion worker sighed, saying, “Okay. How big is that shield spell you wanted?” 

“Large.” 

“How large?” 

“Huge.” 

He went into the back and found the potions needed. He handed them to Huntress, who said, “I demand that antimagic potion, Ron James.” 

“I don’t have any! I’m not an antimagical being! Go find Bufo, he probably knows where to get some.” 

“Where is he?” 

“I don’t know. Probably in prison for being a donk and helping in the release of Bella Noche.” 

Huntress took the potions, paying for them with magical currency, and went out into the street. She ducked into an alley and said, “Vendhem Extremos Lielos Park--Bufo.” 

Red smoke formed, showing Bufo on the other end, in prison. He gasped, asking, “Huntress Wizard? How’d you get the communication spell to work with someone in prison?” 

“Magic,” she said dryly. “How can I get an antimagic potion?” 

“Ask Ron James.” 

“He told me to ask you.” 

“Ugh...okay, get some pieces of Bella Noche’s black cube thing and tell Ron James to make a potion of them by using a drop of _every_ potion.” 

Huntress nodded, saying, “Sounds about right. Vendhem Extremos Lielos Bard.” 

“Wait wait help me out of here!” 

The smoke disappeared, and Huntress left Bufo in prison. He’d probably be killed in a few days--she didn’t care. It wasn’t her problem. 

She went out and found the rubble of Bella Noche. She picked up a couple large chunks of the rocks and took them to Ron James, explaining to him what Bufo told him. Ron James seemed thoughtful, then said, “I’m not sure I like the idea of giving anyone the power of antimagic that exists within this plain. Bella Noche was from another plain of existence, but who knows what could happen if someone here gets it?” 

“They’d probably steal magic from Bella Noche’s plain,” Huntress said. “That’s the plan, anyway.” 

Ron James nodded, saying, “Okay, with that in mind, I’ll do this. For free if you let me kiss you with tongue.” 

“It’ll also be for free if I shoot you with my arrows and take it from you.” 

“Okay, it’s an unconditional free. No kissing whatsoever. Heh.” 

He hurried off with the supplies and came back a moment later with the potion, the liquid black and lacking bubbles. 

In a form of thanks, Huntress dipped her head and simply said, “Ron James” as she took the last potion and left. She went outside the city, performed the teleportation spell, and appeared in her living room, in front of Betty. 

“That didn’t take too long,” Betty said. 

“It could’ve taken less.” 

Huntress showed Betty how to tool her objects, by saying, “Yono Rolo” as she poured it on. Betty made the bag have hammerspace, the goggles shapeshifting at will, the robe a shield of protection, the pickaxe the throw-and-return power, and she stared at the antimagic potion with curiosity before asking “What’s this?” 

“The antimagic you asked for.” 

Betty refused to question or comment. She tooled her left gauntlet with antimagic and said, “I guess I’m done for today. Thanks a bunch, Huntress. See you later, I guess?” 

“Yes.” 

Betty hopped on Matt and headed home, unaware that a surprise waited for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave kudos and comments if you enjoy!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Ice King getting hitched?   
> Playlist update: "Neptune's Jewels" by Mystic. Seriously an awesome song--and I think works as a theme song for this fanfic.

“Ah man, Matt, I am craving seafood right now. The food that PB left me had a package of fish, I think, or a fish substitute. I’ll eat that when we get there. Tomorrow, you’ll have a whole day of rest--I promise we won’t go anywhere tomorrow. That’ll be the day I practice my magic tools.”

Betty babbled back to the windmill, lifting Matt’s spirits. If she kept her promise, he would be able to sleep in a whole day. He commanded the door of the windmill to open and close behind him as he entered, not concerned with Betty’s panicked shriek upon entering. He conked out right there, allowing her to sort out her problems alone. 

She jumped off of Matt, pointing at Ice King, and asked, “What’re you doing here?” 

“I stopped by to say hi and to apologize for Gunter here kidnapping you,” Ice King played with the penguin’s flippers like a kid would a doll, “if he’d let _me_ do the kidnapping, it would’ve been a lot more fun!” 

Eye wide, Betty blinked quickly before saying, “Um, yeah, totally, I totally agree. Definitely. I would’ve enjoyed it a lot more if you had done it, instead of Gunter, but I still appreciate the thought on both of your parts…about my comfort with...abduction.” 

Ice King stood up, setting Gunter down, and said, “So, I hear you’re a princess! What do they call you?” 

Betty glanced down at her outfit, holding her wand in one hand, and she said slowly, “They, as in, people in general, call me, uh...Wizard Princess.” 

“Oooh, you’re a princess _and_ a wizard?” With the way Ice King said that, Betty imagined that he felt like he’d won the lottery. She shot Gunter a half-second glance of anger, then forced a smile at Ice King, nodding. 

The penguin headed over to Betty, wenking, and nudged her leg with zir head. Betty sighed and picked up Gunter, Ice King giggling and saying, “Ooh, looks like she likes you!” 

“Looks like it, I guess,” Betty said, figuring that Gunter just wanted to be cute enough to not get in trouble for _causing_ trouble. 

Ice King scooted closer to Betty, and she asked him, “So, um, are you going to go now? You just apologized…” 

“What happened to your eye?” 

Betty had almost forgotten about not using her left eye. “Oh, I hurt it. It’ll get better in a few days, the doctor told me. So, um, Ice King, how...are...you...doing? Um, yeah…” 

The wizard told Betty, “I’m doing great, thanks for asking! I hope your eye really does get better, it looks like it really hurts!” 

“Oh, not really…” 

“Did you like my home when Gunter took you there?” 

Taken a bit aback, Betty said, “Mmm, yeah, I guess so. I should’ve been forewarned, so I could put on a sweater.” 

Ice King took Gunter and said, “Silly little Gunter, you should’ve thought about that!” 

“Wenk.” 

Ice King smiled at Betty, saying, “So, you’re coming with me to my my kingdom, right?” 

“What? Why would I do that? I didn’t say that!” Betty looked to Matt, saying, “Matt, I didn’t say that, did I?” 

She turned back to Ice King and asked, “Why do you assume?” 

“Well, you’re going to _marry_ me, so it only makes sense that we’d live _together_!” Ice King smiled broadly, clearly seeing no flaws or faults in his reasoning. Betty smiled awkwardly, laughing stressfully, and she reached into her backpack for something, anything, that could get her out of the situation. 

“I, I am?” Betty asked nervously, feeling the infometer in her grasp. An idea crossed her mind. She smiled, saying, “Oh, yeah, I am! You’re right!” 

Ice King looked surprised, appearing confused for a moment, before he asked, “You really are?” 

“Yeah, definitely,” Betty said, grabbing the infometer tightly. “I mean, you’re a wizard and a king, I’m a wizard and a princess, you’re into princesses, and I’m into...bondage fantasies? So, we’re made for each other, right!” 

“Right!” Ice King agreed excitedly. He pursed his lips and leaned in to kiss Betty, but she ducked down and said hurriedly, “JustonemomentSimon!” 

She hopped to the side and behind him, pulling out the infometer, saying, “Um, uh, first, we need to take pictures! To remember the moment!” 

Betty pointed outside the door, saying, “You and Gunter will stand out there, and I’ll take a picture of you two, then you can take a picture of Gunter and I, then Gunter takes a picture of both of us, then we’ll selfie all three of us…” 

“Okay, sounds good!” Ice King said, shuffling outside with Gunter in his arms. He turned to face Betty, and she stepped toward the doorway, about to take a picture, when she slammed the door shut and pressed her back against it. 

“Huh? What’d you do that for?” Ice King asked, knocking on the door. Betty looked side to side hurriedly, trying to think of what to do. 

“Um,” Betty said, “I, uh, changed my mind. You see, the people of my kingdom need me here, you know, so, maybe now’’s not the best time.” 

“What? When would a good time be?” 

“When I, uh, have an heir.” 

“Like a kid?” 

“Like someone I trust to rule the kingdom when I’m gone. I don’t have anyone yet, so, when I find one, I’ll be able to leave to stay with you! But until then, my little people need me here!” Betty pressed her back into the door, praying that Ice King would believe her and go away. 

“But...I thought you wanted to marry me?” 

“I do, but not yet. We need time. You can come over and visit for now, but I still have to run my own kingdom. Got it?” 

“I guess…” Betty could hear Ice King’s disappointment, and for a moment, he sounded like Simon. It made her a little sad, hearing Simon for a moment, only to voice disappointment. 

After a moment, Betty asked, “You okay?” 

Sighing, Ice King said, “Yeah. Can I come back tomorrow?” 

“Of course. How about noon? You can bring Gunter.” 

“That’s great!” Ice King exclaimed. He added, “I’m going now, see you tomorrow, Wizard Princess!” 

Betty could hear Ice King flying away, and she sighed, sinking down to sit in front of the door. She glanced at Matt, saying, “You were a lot of help there, mate.” 

Like every other time he was addressed, Matt did not respond. Betty didn’t know he was sleeping, but figured that he was doing the closest rug-equivalent to it. She got up and went to the bed, sitting down and pulling out her map and list again. She didn’t feel like she had anything else to do. She set them down on the bedside stand and felt around in her pack for her pickaxe. 

Holding it up into the air, Betty examined it. It now could be thrown and would come back to her. In theory, at least--she should’ve given it super powerful attack stuff, so it would do major damage. 

Taking off her goggles to inspect them, Betty thought about how they could, also in theory, give her shapeshifting powers. She would try them later, when she was with Huntress Wizard. 

“I should have hammerspace in this bag, now,” Betty said aloud as she grabbed the lamp to her side and thrust it into the bag. She shoved her goggles into it, then her pillow, and her blanket, and the bag didn’t get any bigger. She giggled gleefully and pulled everything back out, squinting mischievously, and she whispered, “Oh yeah…” 

Taking off her robe, Betty folded it and set it on the bedside stand, lamenting on how it should give her a defensive shield. She took off her new jacket and boots, thinking that maybe she should give her boots flying abilities--so she wouldn’t need to take Matt with her everywhere, where he might not like it. 

Betty curled up under her blanket, on the bed, and dwelled on her thoughts for a while. It was too early for sleep, but too late to do much. Maybe there were libraries around Ooo--she could get some books to read when she wasn’t adventuring, eating, or sleeping. 

_Or maybe you could socialize_ , she suggested to herself. _Nah, I’ve got Huntress, PB, Marceline, and Finn and Jake._

_What about Simon?_

_He’s Ice King right now. I think it would hurt my feelings to be so close yet so far._

_Wuss._

*** 

“You _WHAT_?” Marceline gasped. Ice King stood in front of her, holding more “lyrical inspiration”, a look of joy on his face, and he said, “Yeah, I know, right? I didn’t even sing to her!” 

Marceline grabbed onto her hair with her hands, panicking. Ice King just told her that he had a princess who wanted to marry him. “You didn’t, like, mind control her or anything?” 

“Pfft, no! Gunter showed her to me--she’s a wizard princess!” 

“W...wizard? What’s she look like?” 

“Red hair, black robe, tear-drop shaped goggles, and a blue sweater!” 

Marceline hadn’t seen Betty in a blue sweater, but wouldn’t put it past her. She gulped, not sure if this was really good or really bad, and she asked Ice King, “And, uh, what else did she say?” 

Ice King sighed forlornly, saying, “That she couldn’t live with me because her subjects have no one to rule them while she’s away--she needs an heir. Hey, I know--you can be her heir! You’re a queen--but have, like, _zero_ subjects. What’s up with _that_?” 

Marceline ignored him, trying to think quickly, and she said hurriedly, “Okay, that’s...nice. Sounds nice. So, now, what’re you going to do?” 

“Write a song for her!” Ice King said a-matter-of-factly, as if it was the most obvious thing. He looked at his papers covered in scribbled handwriting, and he added, “I brought more lyrical inspiration! Maybe this stuff will have some gems in them for my new princess!” 

Marceline took the papers from him and flipped through them. _Oh, Betty, how I miss you...I keep slipping away, and fighting’s no good...What else can I do, to say sorry to you? I didn’t mean to make you run away…_

Biting her lower lip, Marceline contemplated whether or not this was the best or worst thing for Betty. _All these visions and thoughts, they fill me with fear...But you and Marcy, I hold you dear...You both keep me hanging on, so I’ll never be too far gone…_

“Hey,” Marceline told Ice King, looking up at him with a bittersweet smile. “This’ll do great for her, I _promise_. Now, let’s find some instruments to work with it. What do you think would be nice?” 

Ice King smiled, saying, “How about a guitar? A really pretty-sounding guitar...and I’ll play my drums!” 

With Marceline’s nod of approval, Ice King started to set up his drumset. She went off to her instrument closet, searching for a nice guitar that would do well for Betty. She found a nice semi-acoustic guitar--one she hadn’t played in a couple years, since she had focused most of her time on her axe bass. 

“Perfect,” she whispered, grabbing the semi-acoustic guitar by the neck, and she brought it out to the living room to play with Ice King. She smiled at him, pulling a pick out of her pocket and strumming the guitar, and she said, “I’m ready. Now, let’s find out what the instruments will be saying behind the words…”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music and romance are made.   
> Playlist update: "Together Again" by Evanescence. Also a good song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, there is music in this chapter, and if you want a feel for the sound, I recommend "The Villain" by Austra or "Hanging On" by Active Child. Those sound the most like how I imagine the song.

Betty and Huntress Wizard stood in the clearing in front of Huntress’s apartment stump.

“Now, let’s try the pickaxe first,” Huntress said. “That’s pretty much your best weapon right now. Throw it at that tree.” She lifted a hand and pointed at one of the trees at the edge of the clearing. Betty clasped the pickaxe in her left hand, it having felt sturdier there than in her right hand--she was ambidextrous--and flung it at the tree that Huntress pointed to. It went too far to the left, but it smacked the ground and bounced back for Betty to catch perfectly. 

“Again.” 

Betty threw it again, trying to aim it further right. It was still a bit too left, but it bounced back and allowed her to throw it once more--it landing right where she wanted it to. It came back, and she repeated the process four more times--landing on the tree all of those times. 

Huntress nodded in approval, saying, “Now, try the shapeshifting goggles.” 

Betty, already wearing her goggles, focused on becoming a raven. Her clothes collapsed around her, and she became buried in them. Crying out angrily, she squirmed her way out and shouted, “I think it worked! I’m a whole lot smaller!” 

She emerged from her clothes and looked up seeing Huntress Wizard looming above her. Betty gasped, asking, “Can you understand me?” 

“Yes.” 

“Do you speak bird or am I speaking normal?” 

“Normal.” 

Betty sighed with relief, saying, “I can communicate with people now--wait a minute...I’ll be naked when I turn back!” 

She went back to her clothes and pulled her goggles out, dragging them with her beak, and she said, “I’m going to change back after I test out this bod. You better look away.” 

“I’m not interested.” 

“Of course you’re not.” 

Huntress picked Betty up in her hands, holding her tenderly, and said, “I believe that sounded like sarcasm--but you’re bad at it, so I cannot be certain.” 

“Did you just say I’m bad at sarcasm?” 

“No.” 

“ _That_ was definitely sarcasm. You said I’m bad at sarcasm. I am _great_ at sarcasm.” 

Huntress rolled her eyes, saying, “Of course you are.” 

“Stop being sarcastic!” 

“Okay, I will stop to explain that you’re fairly poor at sarcasm.” 

“I think you’re just bad at understanding it.” 

The wizard sighed and rolled her eyes. She would never be able to fully explain to someone who was bad at sarcasm, how bad they actually were at sarcasm. Especially not when Huntress herself was sarcastic. 

_The lonely life of a sarcastic wizard is the one I live_ , she thought jokingly. She smiled a bit at that thought, then set Betty down to say, “Go fly around. Then, I’ll turn around, you can be naked behind me, get dressed, and be _not_ naked in front of me.” 

“Okay.” 

Betty flew up into the air, made a few figure-eights, then alighted back down, saying, “Turn around, please.” 

Huntress turned around. Betty grabbed the goggles in her beak and willed herself to be human. She became human--thankfully the goggles worked without being on--and she then got dressed. 

“I’m good,” Betty said. She put on her antimagic gauntlet, asking Huntress, “How will I practice using this antimagic thing?” 

The wizard took Betty’s hand, lifting it up to look at it, and said, “Antimagic can be controlled. You can willingly take magic, and then willingly give it back. I’ll go risk eternal normalness and allow you to test this on me.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes.” 

“Maybe I should try to take some magic from my tools…” 

“Tools don’t work like that. If they did, I would suggest it. Come on, just get it over with--it kind of hurts.” Huntress squeezed her eyes shut, careful to move her tongue out of the way of her teeth to prevent biting down on it in the bolt of pain it took to strip her magic away. 

Betty reluctantly lifted up her left hand, and moved it back a bit, seeing yellow and blue streak out of Huntress and into the gauntlet. Huntress wobbled, struggling to stay standing, but she failed--she plopped down into a sitting position on the grass, mumbling, “Ow.” 

“Try not to sound so agonized,” Betty teased lightly. 

“I am.” 

Betty looked at her hand. It didn’t look any different, but it _felt_ different. Glancing at the crippled wizard, Betty asked, “What are your powers?” 

“I can shoot lightning, for one. Like this,” Huntress moved her hands forward roughly, to show Betty how to do it, but lightning ended up shooting out as it would be expected. Both of the women gasped, Huntress asking, “Wait, didn’t you take my powers?” 

“Yeah!” Betty moved her hands the same way, lightning shooting out of both--not just the antimagical gauntlet--and struck the ground. Betty was silent with surprise, and she slowly turned her head to stare at Huntress Wizard. 

Huntress stumbled to her feet, still a little wobbly, and said, “Wow. You didn’t steal my powers--you _duplicated_ them. I felt the force of them being taken, like I did with Bella Noche, but they weren’t actually stolen...just replicated.” 

She stared at her hands in awe, then looked up at Betty, saying, “That is very cool.” 

Betty and Huntress Wizard spent a few minutes goofing off with their magic--duelling each other with the exact same magic. Lightning hit lightning, causing sparks like small fireworks to explode from where they contacted. Betty threw her hands into the air, shouting, “Whooo!” and shot more lightning at Huntress. Huntress made her arrows levitate and fly at the surrounding trees. Betty levitated the arrows, taking them back, and shooting them at the trees again. 

Matt, napping behind the two, paid no heed to their antics. Betty took a moment to look up at the sky, saying, “I guess it’s almost noon. I have to go back home--Ice King wants to spend time with me there.” 

Huntress stopped the electricity from her fingertips and stiffened. She squinted at Betty, saying, “You told me that he didn’t remember you.” 

“He doesn’t remember me saving him, but he’s convinced I’m a princess.” 

“Ugh.” Huntress shot an arrow at one of the surrounding trees angrily, grumbling, “Him and his princess fetish. Are you going to convince him to help you find the things you need?” 

Betty shook her head, saying, “No. He doesn’t seem too helpful in hindsight--contrary to you.” Huntress wondered if that was flattery. She didn’t know if Betty was the kind to flatter--or, like it seemed in the tone, flirt. She sighed, looking at her hands. 

“What’s that sigh for? Did I say something?” 

“No.” Huntress was a little disappointed--Betty didn’t say that she was telling Ice King that she _wasn’t_ a princess. Why else would she spend time with Ice King, if she wasn’t going to go looking for the artifacts with him? At least, with Betty distracting him, maybe Ice King wouldn’t flirt with Huntress at Wizard City. She still sort of wished it was another woman to take Ice King’s attention, and not one of her new friends. 

Looking up at Betty, Huntress said, “Go ahead. You wouldn’t want your king waiting.” 

“Huntress?” 

“I said that I’m not bothered. Just come spend time with me tomorrow--it was kind of fun, having someone who can use powers like I do. Most wizards have individual powers, which makes casual play-fights hard, since we could seriously hurt each other. But, now that you have the antimagic gauntlet, with _my_ powers, I have someone to spar with. But, go on--you don’t want Ice King whining to you about being late. It’d probably be annoying.” 

Betty smiled, saying, “I’ll be sure to magic-duel with you later, thanks. I bet it would be annoying. Bye, Huntress.” 

She hopped on Matt, waking him up abruptly, and said, “Take me to the windmill.” 

Matt took off into the air, feeling well rested. He’d had a nice dream of being surrounded by other rugs and carpets, of all pretty designs, all of whom understood him. This improved his mood, which made him fly faster to convenience Betty. She was confused--wondering what was Huntress's problem. Did she have something against Ice King? Her tone made it sound like it. 

When Betty and Matt stopped at their windmill, they found that the door was already ajar. Betty sighed, figuring that Ice King had once again invited himself in without permission. But, once they entered, Betty saw someone else there--Marceline. 

Betty hopped off, confused, seeing Ice King behind a drumset, Marceline behind a guitar, and Gunter holding a tambourine, all on one side of the room. “Huh? Marceline, what are you…?” 

“We’ve come to play a song for you,” Marceline said, smiling. “It’d be rude if you didn’t sit down and listen, so please, sit down and listen. Simon wrote this for you, from the bottom of his heart.” 

Obeying, Betty sat down at the foot of her bed, propping her feet up on Matt, and waited patiently for them to start. 

Marceline strummed on her guitar, creating a nice melody, a strong, rhythmic one, sounding like a heartbeat--echoed by Gunter’s tambourine--and Ice King cleared his throat, starting to sing, “Oh, Betty, how I miss you...I keep slipping away, and fighting’s...no...good...What else can I do, to say sorry...to...you? I didn’t mean to make you ruuuun awaaaaaay…” 

He stopped singing to play the drums, Marceline singing passionately, “All these visions and thoughts, they fill meeeee wiiiith feaaaar...But you, my princess, I hooooold yoooou deaaaar...Your love keeps me hanging on, so I’ll never be tooooo faaaaar goooone…” 

Ice King picked up on, “Betty, my darling, my briiiight suuuunliiiiight...thinking of your voice, gives me reasoooon tooo fiiiight…” Marceline began to sing with him, both of them duetting to the chorus-- “ _All these visions and thoughts, they fill meeeee wiiiith feaaaar...But you, my princess, I hooooold yoooou deaaaar...Your love keeps me hanging on, so I’ll never be tooooo faaaaar goooone_ …” 

They repeated that two more times, then the music slowed down and became soft, Marceline finishing on a soft and slow, “The loooove IIII feeeel...it’s aaaall thaaaat’s reaaal…your love’s, the, thing….that keeps me dreeeeaaaamiiiing….” She repeated that two more times, then the instruments ended all at once. 

Betty felt the tears in her eye, and she sniffled sharply, whispering, “I’m not weeping...there’s just two specks of dust battling for dominance in my eye…” 

“So, did you like it?” Ice King asked loudly, ignorant to her tears. Gulping, Betty nodded hurriedly. 

Marceline set her guitar down and approached Betty, opening her arms, and hugged her. Betty sniffled, hugging Marceline back. Ice King came up awkwardly, rubbing his left arm with his right hand, and he asked, “Um, do you two need a moment?” 

“HUG US!” Betty exclaimed emotionally painfully. Ice King seemed startled, but he wrapped his arms around the two most important women in his forgotten life. Betty felt tears filling her eye, her chest feeling heavy, and, although she knew what the answer would be, she asked Ice King, “Do you remember who I am?” 

“Well, of course I do--you’re Wizard Princess, and you’re going to be my wife!” 

_At least you’re half right_ , Betty thought pitifully. She moved her right arm out from Marceline’s side to Ice King’s side, hugging both people tightly. 

A few moments went by, when Marceline pulled away, breaking up the hug--just as Gunter had come in to join--and picked up Gunter to hug zir. “Poor Gunter--didn’t get to join the hug? We’re sorry.” 

Betty took Gunter from Marceline and hugged zir, saying softly, “Thank you, Gunter.” She looked up at Marceline and Ice King, saying, “Thanks you guys, too. I appreciate this, a bunch.” Marceline glanced from Ice King to Betty, asking, “Should I go, and leave you guys here?” 

Betty shook her head, saying, “I’m a little worn out.” She turned to Ice King, smiling pitifully at him, and said, “I really love your song, Simon.” 

“Simon?” Something flashed in his eyes, and he seemed to remember something for a moment, but that look was quickly replaced by irritation as he asked, “Why does everyone keep calling me that? I’m glad you like my song, though.” 

He moved toward Betty, opening his arms for another hug. Betty hugged him, feeling that he seemed a little underweight under the tunic, but refused to let go. He wrapped his arms around her, and it felt so nice for the few precious moments. Then, the moment was broken by him trying to kiss her. Betty gasped, putting her hand in front of his mouth, then stared into his pale eyes for a moment. They were pale gray, unlike Simon’s dark brown eyes. His puppy-dog eyes were yet another thing that the crown took from her. 

Betty sighed, taking her hand away, and kissed him first. She felt the tears sting in her eye, and she could smell faint traces of Simon, masked under beard hair and fish--probably Gunter’s fault that the fish was there. 

After a moment, Betty pried her lips off of Ice King’s cracked, cold lips, looking down shamefully, and she mumbled, “You three can go, now.” 

Ice King stared at Betty in amazement, looking so surprised, and he stuttered, “I, I don’t _have_ to go…” 

“Yes, you do,” Betty said, a bit louder this time. She refused to make eye contact with any of them, pointing to the door, and she added, “I loved you guys coming and singing to me, and I love...you guys…” 

Marceline grabbed Ice King’s hand, saying, “Let’s pack up our instruments and go. We can still hang out at my place.” 

“Oh, okay.” They gathered their instruments together--and Gunter--and flew out, saying goodbyes in their own unique ways. Betty slammed the door shut behind them and shakily headed over to her bed and sat down. She didn’t know if she had the heart to deal with Ice King while thinking about Simon. 

Betty glanced down at Matt, who she figured might be snoozing, and said softly, “We might end up moving. Far away. Maybe near Huntress Wizard. Just...to get away. I don’t feel right anymore.” 

She flopped over onto her side, trying to think of something else, beside that song. Hey, her eye would be better tomorrow. She could take off the bandage and would be able to function better. She’d need to get new glasses, though, since the left lense was broken. 

“Tears are for wimps,” Betty mumbled as a tear began to slide down the side of her right eye. “No, stop it, don’t you dare ruin my reputat--” the tear slid down, “ion...you jerk. Stupid tears. Right eye, you’re weak--left eye, you’re okay. You’ll be okay tomorrow, at least.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it must be annoying to not have a consistent update time--sometimes two a day, one each day, one every other day, etc.--but hang in there, because after upcoming Wednesday, I'll have no school and will have entire days to devote to updating this fic! Thanks for reading this and staying patient!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Huntress has something in common with Betty and Marceline--mainly Marceline. Playlist update: "Big Houses" by Squalloscope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for late update. Well, summer vacation has officially started for me, so I'll be able to devote more time to this! Yay!

Betty was enraged. There was no excuse for disappointing her like this. She rode Matt toward the Candy Kingdom Hospital, bandage slapped onto her eye sloppily--the result of her removing it, being angered, and smooshing it back on rather carelessly.

At the hospital, she told the candy woman at the front desk, “Okay, a week ago, I hurt my eye, and one of the doctors here told me that in a week my eye would be better. Well, it’s been a week, _and I have no eye_. What’s up with that?” 

The candy woman looked at Betty anxiously, looking down at a piece of paper on a pink clipboard with equal anxiety, , and looked up to say, “I’m not sure what to say. I’m sure that the doctor didn’t _lie_ to you...you must have misunderstood.” 

“ _Misunderstood_? No, a misunderstanding is when Jimmy catches John and Jeremy kissing, and he’s dating John, and Jeremy is about to get yelled at by Jimmy for cheating, when he and John explain that they’re rehearsing for a play in which they’re lovers! _That’s_ a misunderstanding!” 

“Ma’am, I’ll call the doctor out so you can have a discussion with him about the… _not_ misunderstanding.” 

“Yeah, go get him! Please. I don’t mean to be rude or impolite.” 

The candy woman turned and left, returning a moment later to say, “He’s on his way. Please, sit in the waiting room until he comes out. He’s a little busy at the moment but will get here in a few moments.” 

Betty sighed and sat down on a chair in the waiting room. A minute or so later, the doctor from last week came out and approached Betty cautiously, asking, “You were expecting your eye to be better?” 

“Of course I was! You said it would be better!” 

“I said that _you_ would be better. Your eye was too damaged to be saved. We can get you a replacement eye if you would wish…” 

Betty couldn’t believe what she heard. Had the doctor really said that only she would get better, and not her eye? It was possible. She sighed in defeat, getting to her feet, and she said, “No, thank you. I’ll just get an eye patch. Thanks, doc.” 

“Um, you’re welcome?” 

Betty got up and left on Matt, headed to the windmill. She had her fingers crossed, hoping that Ice King wouldn’t be there. When they got there, she was given the pleasant surprise of his absence. She sat down on her bed and tried to think for a moment. She was healed enough to go looking for the artifacts, that was for sure. 

“Vendhem Lielos Park, Huntress Wizard,” Betty said. Smoke with Huntress Wizard’s face appeared in front of Betty, and she told it, “I’m ready to go get some artifacts. Are you?” 

Huntress Wizard nodded, saying, “If you give me a few minutes, yeah, I’ll be ready. I’ll call you when.” 

“Okay. Vendhem Lielos Bard.” 

The image disappeared, and Betty gathered together the map, list, snacks, and tools. She sat down on Matt, saying, “Okay, let’s wait a moment until Huntress Wizard calls us. Then, we’ll go to her place.” 

A few moments went by, when the smoke appeared, Huntress saying, “Okay, you can come over. Vendhem Lielos Bard.” 

“Matt, take me to Huntress Wizard’s place!” Matt lifted up off of the ground and flew out, Betty holding onto his fabric. Hopefully they could get three artifacts on their first day out--there were seven more to get, and if they could get three, three, and one, they’d have them all in three days. Three and four would be very good, also, but seven for one day would be absolutely amazing. 

They arrived at Huntress’s place, the wizard standing outside her stump, waiting for them. Betty waved at Huntress, saying, “Hop on, I’ve got a map and a list of artifacts!” 

Huntress sat down on Matt, next to Betty, and reached into Betty’s pack to pull out the map and list. She pulled those out, and also the infometer, asking, “What’s this thing?” 

“An infometer,” Betty said, taking it from her, and took a picture of Huntress. On the picture, it said, WIZARD; NAME: HUNTRESS WIZARD; NOT HOSTILE (USUALLY); STATUS: HUNTRESS; NOT EDIBLE. Betty smiled, turning the infometer off, and put it back into her bag, saying, “It doesn’t do much. So, which artifacts do you think we should go for?” 

The wizard looked at the map, comparing it to the list, then said, “For sure, we look for the enchanted breastplate, magic sword, and enchanted shield. They go together, and should be possessed at one time by one person. That’ll be you.” 

“Wouldn’t the shield and sword be more like tools?” 

“They change the abilities of whoever wields them. That isn’t what a tool does. Now, let’s go.” 

Betty looked at the map, saying, “Map, take us to the Haunted Wasteland. Sounds pleasant.” 

Matt took off, Betty putting the map and list back into her pack. She looked at her magic gauntlet, wondering if it could still punch powerfully. The right one could, at least. 

Huntress leaned around Betty to look at her face. Betty leaned away, lifting an eyebrow, and asked, “What?” 

“You told me that your eye would be better today. Is it not?” 

Betty shook her head, saying, “No, it won’t get better. I’ll need an eye-patch.” 

Huntress smiled slightly, saying, “That could be another thing to tool. What power would you give it?” 

“Maybe invisibility at will. Not sure. I’ll have to think about it.” 

“To be ironic, you could give it the power of foresight.” 

Betty smiled, saying, “That would be ironic. But I’m not sure if I want my left eye seeing the future while my right eye sees the present. That could be confusing.” 

Matt alighted in a rundown place of sand and crumbling buildings. Betty turned to Huntress, asking, “So, are we going to see ghosts here? It said it was haunted.” 

“The ghosts are benevolent. It’s the thing that _killed_ the ghosts that we need to look out for.” 

Gulping, Betty nodded, saying dryly, “Sounds about right. What we we looking for, then?” 

“Something that looks ready to kill us, I assume.” 

“Pfft. Assume Ashmoom. It could very well be a bunny…” 

“A bunny?” 

“A bunny with fangs or something. Think _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ for a good example.” 

Huntress shook her head disdainfully and hopped off of Matt, summoning one of her arrows to hover in her right hand. They circled each other in an orbital cycle, appearing to be ready to lunge out at anyone or anything at a moment’s notice. Betty looked down at her gauntlet, pulling out her pickaxe in her other hand. She wouldn’t likely need her levitation wand since the gauntlet gave her the power of levitation. 

“Let’s go,” Betty said, pointing forward. Matt began to move, and Huntress glanced at her, lifting an eyebrow. 

“What?” Betty asked. 

“Going to ride Matt the whole time?” 

“Yeah--he lets me go faster, and if there’s an emergency, we can get out of here faster. And, anyway, who wants to go get the artifacts and have to walk all the way back to Matt to leave?” 

“I suppose you’re right.” 

Huntress hopped back on Matt, and together, they rode him through the wastelands. Betty looked at the list, saying, “The shield is located at the bottom of a well. Hey, Huntress--how will I keep from turning into a wizard from just touching these things? They’re not tools, and they’re not accessories.” 

“Just don’t say the inscription on them aloud, and you’ll be fine. That’s how enchanted weapons work.” 

“Thanks.” 

They found the well and flew down, grabbing the shield, and put it into Betty’s backpack. 

“The breastplate is buried in some guy’s grave. Which isn’t much of a grave, it says here. Just buried a foot or so under the ground. No coffin.” Betty figured that the person was killed, and whoever was with him buried him with his breastplate in a bit of a funeral. 

Huntress nodded, saying, “I know.” 

They flew around, looking for signs of a grave. Betty groaned, looking at all the lumpy spots of ground, and said, “Goodness, we’ll never find the junkin grave. It doesn’t say on here where it is.” 

“It’ll be fine,” Huntress said, hopping off of Matt. She headed over to a fallen beam, remains from a building next to it, and moved the beam over. Betty stopped Matt and slid off of him, heading to Huntress, and tilted her head as she watched Huntress pick up a shovel nearby and begin to dig at the ground. 

“Wizard senses tell you it’s there?” Betty asked. Huntress didn’t respond, resolving to simply dig. After a few minutes of digging, Betty looking side to side nervously--anxious and awkward, since Huntress wouldn’t talk to her--Huntress finally finished digging, tossing the shovel to the side. She bent down into the hole and ripped something up, revealing it to be a rusted, blue breastplate, a hole in its upper left side, brown-black liquid stained around it. It didn’t appear to be rust. 

Betty creeped closer, asking, “That’s it, right?” 

“Yes.” Huntress looked at the breastplate emotionlessly. Betty wondered why exactly Huntress knew that the ghosts were benevolent, how to activate the artifacts, where the specific grave was, and where a shovel was to dig it up… 

“Huntress?” 

“No.” 

“I don’t want to reopen any wounds,” Betty said softly, looking at the sandy ground, then looked back up, “but I do want to know...did you know the owner of these artifacts?” 

Heaving a sigh, Huntress’s shoulders slumped. “Yes, she was...someone important to me. It was a long time ago, but we just happened to be here.” 

“Did you get it?” 

“No, I came back after the burial. Someone else got it. I don’t mind...I did then, because I wanted it, so that she wouldn’t die in vain, but now, it doesn’t hurt as bad.” Huntress turned, handing the breastplate to Betty, and said, “It was poor at doing its job, but its magic was fine.” 

Betty nodded, putting it into her backpack. She wouldn’t bring this up to anyone. It was Huntress’s personal biz, not hers. Sitting down on Matt, she said nonchalantly, “We should get that sword, huh?” 

“Yeah,” Huntress said clearly. Betty was surprised--she didn’t use the proper “yes” like she usually did. What could that mean? “It’s in one of these houses. Here, I’ll show you.” 

Huntress walked into one of the buildings, Betty following--leaving Matt outside--and saw Huntress pulling back a rug on the dirt floor, revealing plank of wood. She moved the wood and pulled out a box, as long as a baseball bat, and opened it. A sword hovered out of it, which Huntress grabbed and handed to Betty, saying softly, “We can go now. I don’t like these emotions. Scronking up my magic feels.” She held her hands in front of her face and wiggled her fingers rapidly, as if trying to regain feeling after they fell asleep. 

Betty nodded, turning, and headed out to hop on Matt as she put the sword away. Huntress followed her, sitting down behind her, and set her face down on the backpack. Her magic was buzzing inside of her, making her body feel like static and brain like mush. 

A voice a few feet away asked faintly, “Tilda, is that you?” 

Huntress’s face lifted up suddenly, her blood running cold. She looked around fearfully, afraid that someone she didn’t want to meet would be there. Leaning out of one of the doorways, a clear boy peered out. A ghost, the person that he had been probably about five years old. 

“Tilda?” 

Huntress bit her lower lip, and Betty saw that the boy had antlers and hair like Huntress. She turned to Huntress, asking breathlessly, “Is he related to you?” 

“No, but he was my childhood friend.” 

“Tilda, it _is_ you!” The boy cried out flying out to greet Huntress. “You haven’t visited in so long! You promised you’d come back…” 

“And here I am. I visited, and now, I’m leaving.” 

“Wait!” 

“Matt, take us to Undertree.” Huntress buried her face in her hands, feeling Matt take off, and sucked in a deep breath. She ignored the cries behind and below her, grumbling, “I knew I should’ve told you to go on your own.” 

Betty was left speechless. She didn’t know what to think. _That was a young boy...now a ghost...and abandoned by his old friend...what am I supposed to think about this?_

Finally, Betty asked, “Why did you leave him so quickly?” Matt alighted, and Huntress simply breathed. 

“Why?” Betty prompted. 

“It hurts. My magic turns into pinpricks and my heart turns into snow and my brain to mush.” Huntress bit her lower lip, saying, “The emotions aren’t right. I feel better ignoring the past than confronting it. And no one will make me do otherwise.” 

_Marceline and I know what you mean_ , Betty thought. She nodded, and told Huntress, “I get it. Well, I guess I’ll go home. See you.” 

Huntress hopped off of Matt, saying, “See you.” 

Matt took off into the air, headed to the windmill. Betty didn’t know if she should force Huntress to confront her fears or not--in fact, these were more like memories than fears. She feared her memories only because she feared what they made her feel. She wouldn’t mend the wounds--instead, she ignored them, hoping they’d go away.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty decides that Huntress needs some help. Not sure if what happens in this one counts as Huntress/Betty, but kinda? Playlist update: "Tidal" by Imogen Heap.

Betty was relaxing in her windmill, trying to meditate--she heard that it was good for the health--when there was a knock on the door. “Hello, Princess, are you home?”

Nearly having a conniption, Betty ran into the bathroom, not closing the door since he would hear it closing, and willed her goggles to turn her into a mouse. She collapsed in her clothes and squirmed out, scurrying to a corner, and hid. She could’ve just pretended to not be home by not answering, but if Ice King broke in, he’d see her. If she hid as a mouse, he would think that she wasn’t there. 

_Please don’t come in_ , Betty thought hopelessly. She was powerless to him coming in, and she just wanted him to go away--no matter how sweet his intent. Betty tried hard not to think of herself as a jerk for saying that she’d marry him, then to hide from him. 

“I guess she’s not here, Gunter,” Ice King said. Betty could hear a wenk, but Ice King said, “No, Gunter, I’m not entering without her permission. Marceline said that’d be rude.” 

_Thank glob for Marceline_ , Betty thought. She twitched her whiskers, rubbing her nose with her tiny mouse paws. 

“Come on, Gunter, let’s go.” Betty could hear him leaving, and she squeaked with relief. She went over to her her goggles and willed herself into a human. She grew up into her normal shape, rummaging through the pile of clothes for her underwear. As she put on her underpants and bra, the front door burst open, Ice King saying, “You’re right, Gunter--Marceline doesn’t have to know.” 

Betty shrieked, causing Ice King to jump in surprise and notices her. His face got redder, and Betty shouted at him, “Get _OOOOOUUUUUUUUUT_!” 

“I’m very sorry, I didn’t mean--” he ran out and closed the door, but called in, “Hey, were you hiding from me, and that’s why I didn’t hear an answer?” 

Flipping out, a bolt of lightning shot out of Betty’s left hand and at the door, shutting Ice King up. She guessed that her borrowed magic worked without the gauntlet; cool. 

Betty threw on pants and a shirt, face red from anger and embarrassment. Sure, Simon had seen her naked before, but Ice King wasn’t exactly Simon, now, was he? 

Storming over to the door, now fully clothed, Betty told Ice King, “Just because we’re going to get married doesn’t mean you can come in without permission! And, for your information, I was in the _shower_ and didn’t hear you!” 

Betty hoped that he didn’t question her dry hair if she had just gotten out of the shower. Actually, there were a lot of loopholes he had to ignore. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I won’t do that again. Do you...wanna hang out?” 

Still feeling jittery, Betty fumed silently, trying to think. _Did_ she want to spend time with him? She was sort of looking forward to maybe spending time with Huntress. Knowing that Huntress had a “Dark and Mysterious Past (Tradesnark)” made her want to get to know her better, so maybe she’d reveal her troubling history. 

“What would we do, if we were to hang out?” Betty asked. She tried to slow her angered and embarrassed breathing. 

“I was thinking something along the lines of playing video games...I have some multiplayer ones that Gunter is _horrible_ at!” Ice King laughed a little, Gunter wenking angrily at him. 

Betty thought about it for a moment. Would playing video games with him be good or bad for Simon? Finally, she said, “Yeah, I’ll play games with you. This will be at your place, right?” 

“Well, yeah, the games are at my place, after all!” 

_Okay, I figured_ , Betty thought. She went over to the door and opened it, Ice King standing there, holding Gunter. Betty told him, “I’m coming with you, but I’ll be riding my rug.” 

Ice King smiled, saying, “I don’t mind, do whatever. Come on, Gunter!” 

Betty grabbed her backpack, hopping on Matt, and followed Ice King to the Ice Kingdom. During the ride, she wondered silently if she was doing the right thing. Would spending time with Ice King affect the outcome of her mission, change Simon, or change herself? And in what way? Would it be absolutely insignificant to the outcome, or did the changes that happen not matter? 

They came to the Ice Kingdom, Ice King excitedly hurrying off to go get the game. He came back wheeling in an old battery-powered TV and two game controllers. He sat down in front of it, handing Betty one controller, while she sat on Matt. As the game turned on, she saw that it was a platform game. 

“What’s the objective of the game?” Betty asked. 

“To win, silly!” 

She let out an exasperated sigh, smiling slightly. Simon said things like that a lot. 

They began to play the game. Betty was the red character, and Ice King was the blue one. In hindsight, it was a bit ironic, considering Betty was in a red-orange sweater. 

They played for a few minutes, both of them doing very poorly. Betty had no clue what the goal was, how to make the person move, or how to fight the enemies--supposedly, she had to use a magic attack, but she didn’t know how to make it happen. She tried a bunch of combinations on the controller, but none worked. Eventually, she told Ice King, “I’m not very good at this game, I’m sorry. Also, I have to meet someone right about now, so I’ll have to go.” 

“What?” Ice King asked. “You have a date with someone?” 

“No! I just have to meet someone, not go on a date with them. It’s important matters. It’s business.” Betty tried not to look at Ice King, or else she might feel sorry for him and keep playing. “I have to go. Bye, Ice King.” She got up and hugged him before hopping on Matt, saying, “Take me home, Matt.” 

As Matt flew out, she said, “No, take me to Undertree.” 

She didn’t want Ice King following her. 

They arrived at Undertree, and Betty summoned the smoke to communicate with Huntress, saying, “Hey.” 

Huntress appeared to be at Wizard City. She asked, “What is it? I’m busy.” 

“I’m at your house.” 

“Why?” 

“Ice King wants to hang out, and I don’t.” 

Huntress sighed. “I’ll be there eventually. I’m out.” 

“I can tell.” Betty smiled as she said, “Vendhem Lielos Bard.” 

Betty crossed her legs together as she sat on Matt, and she began to think. Huntress seemed to have some Dark and Mysterious Past (Tradesnark), and Betty wanted to figure out what it was. It had something to do with that ghost town (ha ha, it was both abandoned, and haunted) and that little ghost boy, the one who called her Tilda, had something to do with it. 

“Hey, Matt,” Betty began, “do you think we should force Huntress to confront her Dark and Mysterious Past™ or should we leave her alone?” 

Matt, rather obviously, did not respond. He refused to hold an opinion about it, whether or not he could answer. It wasn’t his problem that Huntress had a problem with her history, and anyway, it certainly wasn’t Betty’s place to budge in. 

“Yeah, I agree, it’s none of my business, but I still hate seeing her suffer, so I’ll help her.” If Matt could groan, he would. 

Betty fell down onto her back, backpack squishing under her as if it were empty, thanks to the hammerspace. Matt’s soft fabric was below her, making her feel like she was on a floating bed. She thought about what ways she could force Huntress into acknowledging that stuff happened to her. Betty could always fly her to that village place, and not allow her to leave until she talked to the ghost. Instead of looking over the other options, such as calmly asking Huntress to explain herself, Betty decided that the first plan would work best. The ghost boy probably held some significant meaning that resonated in Huntress’s subconscious, and confronting him would confront the fears, or something. 

Minutes went by, when, in a puff of smoke, Huntress appeared, after using a teleportation spell. She held two bags by the handles in her left hand, and she told Betty, “I need to put these away, then we’ll talk, or whatever you want.” 

“I think we should go on a date,” Betty said. 

Huntress stiffened as she headed for the trunk. She glared over her shoulder, asking, “Define date?” 

“Meaning, you and I go out and learn more about each other. A playdate, but for adults? I don’t know, but it’s so we can become closer, y’know?” 

The wizard still glared suspiciously at Betty. Without another word, she headed into her apartment-tree and left Betty with Matt. Betty grinned at Matt, whispering, “We’re going out! Okay, do not listen to her orders all day today, okay? Just today. I have a plan to make her confront her fears. Now, when I say ‘go’, just go to that place we went the other day, okay?” 

Huntress came back up, and Betty sat up from where she’d been reclining on Matt. Betty told Huntress, “Come sit by me! We’re going out!” 

Still obviously skeptical, Huntress hopped onto Matt behind Betty, saying in a deadpan voice, “No touchy-feely.” 

“Yeah, no touchy.” Betty couldn’t contain her excitement. It was both bad and good excitement. She was jittery and anxious, and wanted the outcomes to have happened already, but didn’t know what exactly the outcome would be. Looking down at Matt, she said, “Go!” 

Matt took off at great speed, and Huntress grabbed onto Betty’s sides to resist being flung back. Her hood failed to stay up, and she sighed, grumbling, “Teach your ‘mat’ how to chill.” 

In agitated response, Matt flipped over. Betty and Huntress shrieked, Betty grabbing onto the rug and Huntress grabbing onto Betty. Spinning like an American football in flight, Matt flung the women around until they reached the spot, where he alighted gently. Dizzily and sickly, Huntress stumbled off, grabbing her forehead and closing her eyes, and she grumbled, “Ugh, that was uncalled for...I think I’m going to be sick…” 

It wasn’t until she got ahold of herself and caught her breath that she recognized where she was, surrounded by aged buildings and sand, and she gasped, wheeling around to face a particular house. It was as ordinarily ruined as the others, but this one meant more to her. Peering out from the doorway, the pale, semi-transparent boy cowered, asking softly, “Tilda? Why’d you leave me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also known as the super late chapter. So sorry guys. I know that you don't want an explanation, just better timing. I was planning on waiting until I finished the whole thing to post at once, but I figured it might be a little cruel, and that it should've been done like that from the start, and therefore, I have no right to change a third of the way through. Just you wait guys, some plots and character arcs are coming up, and I am DEFINITELY not going to keep you waiting like this. Next week will be clogged up with five days of writing classes, so I might be focusing on other works. I should be able to update every day this week, though, to make it up to you guys. So sorry.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Huntress faces the unresolved issues! Short chapter. Playlist update: "Latch" by Disclosure and Sam Smith.

Huntress was frozen for only a moment before leaping into action. She flung herself at Matt and hopped on, saying, “Matt, take me to Undertree.” Betty had expected her to do that, but had _not_ expected her to try and leave Betty behind. Betty, standing right next to Matt, pushed Huntress off gently, which caused Huntress to shout, “No, get me out of here!” 

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Betty said softly, trying to reassure Huntress. She lifted up her hands, palms exposed, and told Huntress calmly, “You don’t want to frighten the boy...just say hi back to him…” 

The wizard locked a look that could kill on Betty, and she hissed out a sound that sounded like a guttural “noooooooAAUUUUUUUUGgggghhhh”. 

Betty figured that the best way to get Huntress to calm down and approach the little boy, who continued to whisper, “Tilda? Tilda?” was to tell Huntress, “I didn’t think you were _this_ cowardly.” 

Huntress’s stare turned from wild desperation to accusatory anger, as she asked clearly, “What?” 

“I expected you to face your fears better.” 

“I’m not _afraid_ of a little ghost boy!” 

Betty suppressed a smile, knowing that she was leading Huntress in the right direction. Feigning sarcasm, Betty nodded as she rolled her eyes, saying, “You may be right, but you’re not acting like it! If you’re not afraid of him, go spend time with him!” 

Huntress, deep down, knew that this was a trick. Not a very clever trick, either. But, she was adamant to not be called a coward, and displayed this by turning around on her heels and locking her green gaze on the ghost boy. Sucking in a shaky breath, she took a defiant step toward him. 

Eyes widening, the boy asked, “Tilda, are you going to flip out again?” 

Biting her lower lip, Huntress shook her head, saying weakly, “No, Matt.” 

Betty gasped, looking at her rug, then elbowed him, whispering, “That’s your name, buddy!” 

Rug!Matt moved forward a bit to shrug off Betty’s elbow. Betty turned her gaze back to Huntress and the ghost. The boy, Ghost!Matt, opened his arms as if he expected a hug. Huntress kneeled down and hugged him, saying forlornly, “I missed you, Matt.” 

“I missed you, but why did you never come back?” 

Betty noticed a few adult ghosts sneaking glances at them from windows, trees, doorways, and the ground. All of the ghosts had similar traits to Huntress and Ghost!Matt, like antlers and leafy hair, but were very individual in the way they were clothed. Some had dresses, some had capes, some had hats, some had silly masks...making Betty wonder if they were in the middle of some Halloween-sque holiday when they died. 

Huntress took in a ragged breath, letting go of Ghost!Matt, telling him, “Things got in the way. I… _I_ got in the way. I thought everything would be better if I stayed away from you guys..instead of helping you...but I promise, I didn’t forget you guys. I remembered you every day, every single day, and I never stopped thinking about what happened.” 

Looking up at her sadly, the little ghost said sweetly, “We know, and we knew. We always knew.” 

Eyes widening in surprise, Huntress gasped, “What? How?” 

“You thought about us _too_ much!” he exclaimed. The ghosts everywhere all chuckled and laughed, whispering “yeah he’s right” to each other. 

“I still don’t understand,” Huntress said, exasperated. 

“We couldn’t pass on, silly!” Ghost!Matt hugged Huntress’s neck, saying, “Tilda, silly as always! Just like that time you thought the moon was that frisby you threw too high and lost!” 

Huntress was still confused, and she stuttered, “What passing? And I never said that.” 

“Yeah you did!” 

“It was a joke!” 

“No, you were serious, and what I mean is you’re keeping us ghosts. We can’t be dead-dead until you let us go, and stop boo-hooing.” 

Betty smiled, knowing that she was right about Huntress needing to face her fears, and also smiling at the fact that the souls would be freed. 

Huntress nodded slowly, rubbing the leaf-hair on Ghost!Matt, and she said, “Okay, guys. I love you, and I’ll miss you, but I won’t hold you here...you all can go.” As if on command, all the ghosts began to cheer as they left in different manners. Some sank into the ground, some exploded into sparkles, some floated up into the sky, and some faded into thin air. 

Grinning uncontrollably, Betty asked, “Huntress, is everything okay? Did you resolve all issues?” 

“Um. Yeah.” 

“You glad I brought you here?” 

“Um. Yeah.” 

“You gonna...talk about what happened?” 

“No.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters will be shorter from now on to ensure faster update time. Also, I prefer shorter chapters when I read fanfics, and I thought that others would appreciate that. Sorry if you don't, can't please everybody.


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